Parody
Joe Camel, a Giant in Tobacco Marketing, Is Dead at 23 —New York Times, July 11, 1997 Parody IllltMM* TONY THE TIGER PAPA SMURF MICKEY MOUSE DIED. TONY THE TIGER, 47; of tooth decay; in...
...in Antwerp, Belgium...
...in Battle Creek, Mich...
...in Orlando, Fla...
...of liver disease...
...The cartoon character who seduced unsuspecting children into eating Sugar Frosted Flakes by roaring the words "It's Great...
...PAPA SMURF, 11...
...of AIDS...
...Dentists charge that he was responsible for at least 300,000 cavities every year and warn that sugared cereals are a notoious "gateway" to Twinkies, the foodstuff that poisoned Dan White and forced him to kill gay activist Harvey Milk in 1978...
...The character who brought cartoon animation to maturity was almost as famous as Joe Camel...
...Though he flirted with Minnie Mouse, the two never wed, and Baptist critics charge him with confusing 300,000 children a year about their sexuality...
...into their ears was, in his heyday, perhaps not quite as famous as Mickey Mouse but certainly better known than Goofy...
...Born "Papa Stroumpf," the grumpy cartoon character and head of the clan of little blue dwarves was twice as popular as Uncle Scrooge McDuck...
...MICKEY MOUSE, 70...
...Though a generation of children thrilled to his antics, children's television activists charge him with the murder of over 300,000 brain cells every half-hour...
Vol. 2 • July 1997 • No. 44
