Parody
President and Mrs. Clinton have had a steadfast supporter in journalist Sid Blumenthal, who will soon serve them in the White House. —Washington Post, June 16 Parody The White house Washington...
...Gee, I'd hate for your wife's green card to suddenly disappear...
...The president prefers to hide under a Laura Ashley floral throw blanket model #3 64 (it's really lovely) with a flashlight so he can read while you drive...
...This is a little gag Mr...
...Welcome aboard, Sid...
...Plus it's fun...
...Washington Post, June 16 Parody The White house Washington DC to: sidney blumenthal assistant to the president from: director of personnel re: white house orientation Congratulations on your appointment...
...sharp and returned no later than 3 p.m...
...You may use your own car, of course, but make sure the blanket is ready in the back seat, folded lengthwise...
...Per our agreement, your professional responsibilities include "strategizing vision," "implementing vision strategies," and "creative visualization of the bridge to the 21st century...
...4) Finally, Socks has two litter boxes (locations shown on attached floorplan...
...3) Mr...
...Brown's Persian at the New Yorker, so you should feel right at home...
...You and Erskine, of course, can work out the precise details...
...And when handling the president's score card, just remember, as the president likes to say, "My middle name is Mulligan...
...Lindsey informs me that you will be taking over "Marriott duties...
...Now it's like official...
...One "strategy" you might want to "implement": Tell Pablo, "It's not ready yet...
...I wanted to take this opportunity to give you a few "pointers" about your remaining duties...
...I'm told you did the same for Ms...
...Pablo in dry cleaning can be a little slow (Sometimes you wonder how they get anything done in Mexico...
...It's so nice to have you back where you belong," as the songwriters say, but we know you've always been here in spirit...
...2) Presidential Protocol Directive 5.95 (c) requires that the caddy not turn his back on the president unless specifically requested to do so...
...1) Please remember that the First Lady's laundry is to be picked up daily at 6 a.m...
...Stephanopoulos worked out, and believe me, it works...
...The man is a bookworm...
...They should be emptied twice daily, and the droppings forwarded to the BC presidential archive in Little Rock...
...Obviously this will often require you to wade into water hazards backwards to retrieve the president's nine iron...
...I understand the inconvenience, but the dignity of the office (his, not yours) requires it...
...and you've got to keep on him...
...Really, Sid, she's a stickler about this...
...Secret Service has your hip boots...
Vol. 2 • June 1997 • No. 41
