Miracle of the Mundane
_Casual Miracle of the Mundane Something strange happened to me the other day: I got a flat tire. And even stranger, I changed it. I am still dizzy with amazement. I had always feared I would get...
...I don't think so...
...It was me...
...Understand, now, that up until then you could sooner have asked me to assemble a spaceship than change a tire...
...Merit badges were due...
...Do you know that there is a compartment underneath your golf clubs that contains a spare tire...
...But I never did...
...My car was relatively new and in fine shape...
...It might...
...There were instructions on the compartment cover, and I was actually excited, grateful for the chance to prove something...
...Great...
...Step One, finished...
...And self-reliance called...
...I had gotten a flat, taken care of it, and proceeded...
...But if I do, do you have a jack...
...A spooky determination settled over me: I was going to change that tire—me, no one else—and furthermore I was going to do it well...
...Jay Nordlinger...
...I was listening to a Bach cello suite...
...The flat came off, and I rolled it to the side...
...The instructions here were murky— the illustrations as poor as the text—but I got daylight between the tire and the asphalt...
...But I still heard something...
...Of course you do, because now that I do, everyone does...
...The stigma was not undeserved...
...Truly, I could not have felt more satisfied—not if I had been invited to join the French Academy, not if I had won the Masters (well, attended the Masters...
...I blushed to answer, "I don't know, really...
...That particular misfortune happened to other people...
...I was close to smug, having undergone a rite of passage that conferred a new virility and a new confidence...
...But the noise persisted, louder...
...I determined to get to it, even if it meant totally ruining the tire, because I wanted, needed, people nearby when I stopped...
...And not only that, there was a jack—brand new, apparently standard issue...
...Loosening the bolts came next, and then it was time to raise the car...
...I would see them on the side of the road, doing their thing, and think, "That hasn't happened to me...
...I approached the woman at the counter: "I have a flat: Can someone here help me...
...I should rehearse, because I haven't the foggiest idea what to do...
...It's nice to translate a Petrarch sonnet, sure, but it's nicer to master the elementary and not to have to depend on the kindness of friends or access to professionals...
...Only there was no obvious candidate...
...There was an exit—the "West Point" exit, 20 miles from Williams-burg—and I took it...
...Another friend said, describing a certain appreciation of comfort, "Jay's idea of roughing it is going a day without MacNeil-Lehrer and Nes-tle's Chocolate Quik...
...Not on Sunday...
...Well, is there any place around that could help...
...She asked whether I had a spare tire...
...With time, I slid the spare on, tightened the bolts, and lowered the car to the ground, pulsing with accomplishment...
...I strode into the store, smiled at the lady ("Yes, turned out I had a spare and a jack, ma'am—no problem"), bought a root beer, and went on my way—unflum-moxed, undeterred, and un-helped, except by God, and a desire to be rid of a hindering suggestion of inability...
...I had always feared I would get a flat tire, but had never gotten one...
...I should really address it someday...
...Now that I had the necessary parts, all I had to do was find someone to change the tire and pay him...
...I thought he had shown me a spare...
...This wasn't a "service station"—those seem to be extinct—but a convenience store with some pumps outside...
...The sign said an Exxon was near...
...I looked at the cars on either side of me and figured the noise had to be coming from one of them...
...I want to do it again...
...A co-worker at a golf course once said, "That boy may read a lot, but he doesn't know to come out of the rain...
...I was cocky, greasy, and fired with mission...
...Ilimped into the Exxon and came to a halt...
...I then remembered the car salesman's giving me a tour of the vehicle...
...I pulled over and slowed the car to a jog...
...I didn't know much about cars, but I knew I had a flat tire...
...That had been the rap against me—humanist, you know, without an ounce of practical sense...
...I turned up the volume...
...I looked...
...If I couldn't get there, I would hitchhike, then call a friend, already in Williamsburg, to tell him that I'd miss that afternoon's round and that I required his help...
...The wrench unfolded as it should have, and I got the hubcap off...
...So there I was, driving from Washington to Williamsburg to play golf, when I heard something...
Vol. 2 • April 1997 • No. 29
