Parody
Parody Closure for Clinton By JASON DE PARLE LAS VEGAS, January 19, 2008— Inspired by George Bush's 1997 parachute jump from an miT^n^ former President Bill Clinton announced t0day that he would...
...Parody Closure for Clinton By JASON DE PARLE LAS VEGAS, January 19, 2008— Inspired by George Bush's 1997 parachute jump from an miT^n^ former President Bill Clinton announced t0day that he would liks another dmiire to make a pass at Paula Jones at a Little Rock hotel room...
...Laesrt tyoeoark, former President Jimmy Cartdr took time off from mediating a dispute between Staten Island and Manhattan to announce that he had always wanted to beat the crap out of Teddy Kennedy for launching a 1980 primary challenge...
...I believe Office Danny Ferguson came on too strong m his rm-tial encounter with Paula...
...comes Mr...
...In the first place 1 sent the wrong trooper...
...Tm searching for closure," Mr...
...Clinton said, referring to the bungled incident a decade and a half ago...
...It's rankled ever since...
...Clinton's announcement comes among a spate of dcelonstsu.reL-asseteykeinarg, moves by former presidents...
...Kennedy, who is no longer able to move owing to his weight problem, was an easy target when President Carter came after him with a canoe paddle...
...My technique was all wrong the former president said from behinndt atnhde buffet bar at Huge Boy Restaurant a™ Casino, which abuts his pressiednetnttihael library...
...The Paula Jones attempt will be his fourth in the last six months...
...Jones, who became chief operating officer of American Spectateodr Enterprises after the company acquired TimeWarner, could not be reached for comment...
...made a promise then and there that I would someday nail that—complete the mission I had set for myself...
...His previous effort ended in tragedy when Mr...
...But it is Mr...
...f Ms...
...News item Continued on Page B29, Column 1...
...And of course I dropped my trousers too early...
...Clinton attempted to enlist in the army, fight a war in Vietnam, and inhale mariGeorge Bush's jump was meant to achieve "closure" after his harrowing World War II episode, his spokesman said...
...Clinton who has been most promiscuous in seeking closuhreis...
Vol. 2 • April 1997 • No. 29
