Parody

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2002 HciivPAtv ttMhxp.n lira &n imi Gore Urges Bridge to 22nd Century By Dan Balz Washington Post Staff Writer In a State of the Union address that evoked President...

...A great American, my good friend and predecessor Bill Clinton, started us down this path," said Gore, "and I want all of us to dedicate ourselves to the fulfillment of his vision...
...Yowza!'" Fighting back tears, Gore said, "I vowed then and there that I would not rest until Abner's vision of a 3 percent waiver of the depreciation allowance on domestic capital expenditures for high-tech manufactures became reality...
...Gingrich described Republican ideology as "bankrupt and sick, frankly, and really kind of pathetic and sad...
...All ordinary Americans should be able to take time off from their jobs for funerals, said Gore, who related his own personal trials from the presidential campaign two years ago, when his family members and those he described as "close personal friends" began to die at the rate of three or four a week...
...It's time that every American, without regard to race, creed, national origin, Vietnam Veteran status, Gulf War syndrome status, sexual preference, or vehicular engine preference, be allowed to stay in the hospital, not just for 48 hours, but for as long as she or he desires, and with full Medicare reimbursement...
...He was my best friend," Gore said...
...I'll never forget that final night in the hospital, and the look of understanding in his eyes as he took my hand and said, 'Ooooh...
...Gore issued a call for Republicans to join him in the effort, and found support from his closest ally of the past 18 months, Democratic whip Newt Gingrich...
...Gingrich CD-New Columbia) told reporters after the address...
...They should c'mon in, the water's fine...
...Owwww...
...FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2002 HciivPAtv ttMhxp.n lira &n imi Gore Urges Bridge to 22nd Century By Dan Balz Washington Post Staff Writer In a State of the Union address that evoked President Clinton's now-legendary speech of five years ago, President Gore embarked on the second year of his administration by urging Congress to build on the domestic record of his predecessor...
...He also proposed expanding the Family Funeral Leave Act, the first legislation he signed as president last year...
...They done shorn it plumb off...
...Departing from his script for an emotional 85-minute vignette, Gore mentioned his fifth cousin four times removed, Abner McGillicuddy of Bangor, Maine, who died after a tubular ligation last summer...
...America is 20 times better than Canada," Gore said, "and it is unconscionable that we should only be spending 10 times as much on education...
...But the centerpiece of the address was the president's proposed Universal Patient Act, which would allow more people to enjoy longer hospital stays...
...Gore asked Congress to raise education spending, which is still only 125 percent of gross national product, despite the huge hikes in the federal budget during the second Clinton term...

Vol. 2 • February 1997 • No. 22


 
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