Parody
Parody Robert Teeter, Chairman OCTOBER 31, 1995 MEMORANDUM FOR GENERAL POWELL FROM: BOB TEETER RE: PACIFYING THE RIGHT WING First let me state how honored all of us from the 1992 Bush team are...
...Finally, we simply will not get anywhere with the conservatives until we get their elder statesmen to sign on...
...I once entertained two of them in my home...
...Can we get the old magic working again...
...All we need are guts, imagination, and $9.7 million in consulting fees...
...This will let Robertson, Reed, et al...
...Over the years I have met several conservatives...
...Bill Bennett is practically on Colin valium...
...But I can guarantee a standing ovation for your appearance at the American Conservative Union...
...As governor, he paroled a number of felons who may commit further horrifying crimes, "if the price is right...
...Parody Robert Teeter, Chairman OCTOBER 31, 1995 MEMORANDUM FOR GENERAL POWELL FROM: BOB TEETER RE: PACIFYING THE RIGHT WING First let me state how honored all of us from the 1992 Bush team are to be at your side...
...On abortion, for example, you have said you "believe in a woman's right to choose...
...This mainstream language offends right-to-lifers...
...But further progress depends on our ability to talk conservative...
...There is simply no way to win without mollifying those people you have rightly dubbed "Neanderthals...
...This is a team of winners...
...We must be careful where we use this language...
...But I've warned our guys: No parolees of color...
...Similarly, you'll notice that in the attached speech draft we've repeated your characterization of the Contract With America as "a little too harsh, a little too unkind...
...Per your request, here are my current thoughts on our gameplan for: CONSERVATIVE OUTREACH I know your feelings about this, but it has to be done...
...Your early self-description as a "Rockefeller Republican" continues to give us problems...
...As you know, I've been in intensive negotiations with Jerry Ford...
...We must make it clear that you meant John D., Sr., not Nelson...
...We have already made headway...
...We'll script some favorable remarks for you about Big Business and price-fixing so the point gets hammered home...
...I say: Yes...
...As you know, Opposition Research has come up with some promising leads for the fall campaign against Clinton...
...We're also working on some red-meat issues to please the Right...
...But we've added: "And there's nothing wrong with America today that a little too much harshness can't fix...
...They are sensitive to your feelings in this area -- and we will not compromise your principles just to please Rush Limbaugh, David Duke, and other conservatives...
...Please trust me on this matter...
...Try it with a "right-to-life" twist: "I believe in a woman's right to choose to slaughter unborn innocent human life...
...know you understand the moral complexity of the issue...
Vol. 1 • November 1995 • No. 9
