Aliens, Liz...and Newt

Carlson, Tucker

Media Aliens, Liz . . . and Newt By Tucker Carlson For bored shoppers seeking titillation in the supermarket checkout line, the October 10 issue of the National Enquirer did not disappoint....

...Sadly, that's often not how people act in their personal lives...
...Richard Fogaley, an editor at the daily Savannah News and Press who has covered Rep...
...And for good reason: "We only go to them on things that we know they're going to agree with us on...
...It is not a space alien magazine," he says, obviously unaware that the latest issue carries a story entitled-yes-"We Were Abducted By Space Aliens...
...She should stop letting the past cause her misery...
...Bob Dornan of California, for instance, "has been in our paper a number of times-not his most extreme positions, but things that seem to be common sense...
...Lee used the Enquirer to help get George Bush elected," wrote Atwater's widow, Sally, in a piece for the paper two years ago...
...It has almost routinely won its libel suits...
...The Enquirer, says Blankley, is "entertaining, written in a very accessible manner, and fun to read...
...Ridgley admits that the paper does take liberties with the truth-in fact, she says, in her days with Norman Lear, she never spoke to the Enquirer because "my integrity wouldn't allow me to...
...So if the estimates about kiddie hookers sound unlikely, not to say ridiculous, so what...
...They may be stunned back in Savannah, but not on the Hill, where the Enquirer is considered a prime publicity vehicle for congressmen hoping to sway preliter-ate voters...
...Tony Blankley has a point-taking a dig at your ex-wife in the pages of the National Enquirer definitely does not qualify as "hardcore, nuts-and-bolts, wonkish news coverage of government...
...Nor should he be, says Ridgley, since tabloids like the Enquirer "do more to research the accuracy of their stories than probably any major newspaper combined, and they will have less corrections than the Washington Post and the New York Times...
...Lee Atwater was another fan...
...That's for sure...
...I will work hard to see that such legislation is passed...
...How did a respected second-term Republican from Savannah end up in pages normally reserved for voluptuous gal pals, cheating hubbies, and Liz...
...Incredibly, some of them are only toddlers, 3, 4, and 5. It is one of America's greatest shames...
...Sounding a bit defensive, Blankley describes an Enquirer not at all like the sex-and-celebrity-drenched rag most people remember: "I think a lot of people who don't read the National Enquirer might put it in the same category as the freak shows you see in tabloids, but it's not...
...But I've never heard it come up as an issue...
...Politicians, says long-time Enquirer editor Iain Calder, write pieces for the tabloid "constantly, really quite often...
...And what do the folks back in Kingston's district-in Georgia counties like Bacon and Appling and Toombs-think of the story...
...I've got like 20 years experience in Hollywood with every superstar you could name," she says...
...Toddler sex slaves...
...Jack Kingston does...
...You could have that chance under legislation I've introduced in Congress to begin a billion-dollar national lottery...
...he asked in an eye-catching first line...
...Kingston in years past, sounds baffled when asked if child prostitution is a major issue in the mostly rural district...
...And why not...
...But so was the byline that accompanied the story: "Rep...
...We can't swear to it," says Ridgley, "but just like other statistics, they're as sound as-well, you know...
...So when Robyn Ridgley talks about tabloids, it's with the gravity of an insider...
...Jack is not a snob towards the Enquirer...
...I mean, like anywhere else in the South, it would be taboo," he says...
...Not many, apparently...
...Like any sensible politician, Kingston didn't just describe America's latest, greatest shame...
...They go out of their way and probably have more lawyers on staff than anyone else because they have so much at stake...
...But then, neither does former-congressman Tom Luken's 1989 Enquirer story, "Do We Need A National Lottery...
...It is in fact a legitimate news organization...
...It touches beyond the hard-core, nuts-and-bolts, wonkish news coverage of government...
...It's easy to see why an offer to write for the Enquirer might be tempting for a publicity-starved elected official...
...A former press secretary for retired California congressman and sometime Enquirer contributor William Dannemeyer remembers the conundrum: "You sit back as a member and you think, 'do I risk the chance of getting ridiculed by my peers, or do I just go ahead and put it in there and reach all these people?'" For some, it's not a hard question...
...Shocking stuff...
...She also once wrote an episode of The Facts of Life, an early-80s sitcom...
...pimps "buying and selling children like so much meat in a butcher shop...
...Ridgley should know...
...The key," Ridgley explains, "is to communicate with the people in your district...
...Jack Kingston (R.-Ga...
...I don't think anybody here has realized he had an article in the Enquirer...
...he offered a solution: "We need a tough new federal law to combat child prostitution, one that provides hefty mandatory no-parole sentences for the adults involved...
...No, never really have heard much talk about it...
...And it got worse...
...If it does that, we'll do it...
...For Jack Kingston, Ridgley says, they've been a boon companion, "an extremely valuable asset...
...Ridgley claims that she and the congressman have nothing against residents of trailer parks, nor do they "judge people who read tabloids-let 'em...
...She used to work in the "inner circle" of television producer Norman Lear (she describes the experience as "fabulous, fabulous" and Lear as "an old-fashioned family man," who "loved my conservative, old-fashioned family values-but that's another story...
...and kids willing to "have sex for whatever it takes to survive another day-a hot pizza, a place to sleep, a coat to wear...
...It was enough to make even jaded Enquirer readers put down their groceries and pay attention...
...Or maybe not so shocking...
...From time to time, editors from the Enquirer "call us to give us the opportunity to what we call 'blast' something...
...What National Enquirer reader could resist such a pitch...
...Politicians "are generally quite cooperative with us," Calder says...
...I'm stunned, to be honest with you...
...You're reaching probably over a score million Americans, and they're in my judgment a core Republican constituency," says Tony Blankley, whose boss, Speaker Newt Gingrich, has had a number of pieces in the Enquirer...
...Then again, Norman Lear doesn't have to run for office every two years...
...They can be your greatest friend or your greatest enemy," she explains...
...Sandwiched between write-ups on Mexican wolf boys and Oprah's suicidal niece, one story stood out as the week's most lurid...
...As regular readers of the tabloid know, Jack Kingston isn't the first member of Congress to write for the National Enquirer, though he may have come the closest to replicating the newspaper's unique prose style...
...For sale on city streets...
...At least that's the idea...
...Luken, then a Democrat representing a Cincinnati district, led the article with an offer almost surely not found in his regular campaign literature: "Do you want to become an instant billionaire...
...With an emphasis on the "almost": Two weeks ago actor Clint Eastwood was awarded $150,000 by a jury that found the Enquirer had libeled him by printing an interview that never took place...
...In prose as purple as any churned out at the tabloid's Lantana, Florida, headquarters, the author went on to describe "boys and girls standing in doorways, waiting for lecherous lowlifes to express interest...
...And the National Enquirer precisely fits that bill...
...What congressman could resist making it...
...Accuracy, in other words, is not the key...
...It's been 18 years since our split...
...Under the heading "Don't look back," Bono tells readers, "One thing I like about politics is that you can kiss and make up after an election night...
...They bring us the facts and figures on a story they're working on and they'll ask us to fill in a quote...
...Take a recent piece by Sonny Bono, in which the new congressman offers "tips I followed to achieve success in life- and I guarantee that if you use them, they'll make you a success, too...
...The congressman concedes that Cher's remark "is a funny zinger, but it also shows that she's still carrying the bitterness of our divorce-and that's not healthy...
...A perfect example is the nasty public blast my ex-wife Cher made after I won the Congressional election...
...Not by accident, says his press secretary, Robyn Ridgley, who boasts that her boss has appeared in the tabloid quite a few times...
...Shockingly, at least 600,000 children are being bought and sold on our nation's streets today for the perverted sexual pleasure of adults," began a story on page 19...
...If you want to reach the people who are eventually going to be voting, you have to reach beyond those people who are Mac-Neil-Lehrer junkies...
...Kingston's colleagues have been appearing in the Enquirer for years, flying far below the radar of official Washington to reach an otherwise unreachable audience...
...She compared him to a used-car salesman...

Vol. 1 • November 1995 • No. 8


 
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