Parody

...As for what you call "Operation Dynasty," I'm afraid the news is not so good...

...His mother earns $18,000 a year, but her salary is stagnating, and she recently had her heating subsidies reduced as part of Governor Engler's cost-cutting measures...

...I've contacted advisers in the Justice Department who say it will not be easy to have the child selected as Dauphin in the year 2001 so you can rule the country as Regent...

...And I think you'll be very happy because, as you requested, we have found a child who looks like America...

...Even better, he looks like that part of America that will determine the next election...

...But then Bob Bennett provided us with a list of attractive single mothers who have contacted the White House on another matter entirely, and it was from that list that this kid was selected...

...I checked with the Times-Mirror company and they confirm that this two-year-old boy has a DNA-sociodemographic profile that marks him as a perfect "Anxious Middle...

...According to their reading of the Constitution, America is not a hereditary monarchy, and it will not be possible for the President to name his successor when he leaves office...

...But I don't think that will work either, as we are told there are copies that Ken Starr's office might have access to...

...As you know, Dick Morris was hoping we could pick a kid whose mother has suffered personal trauma (Dick has excellent contacts in the rapist community...

...I know we have discussed the possibility of having Maggie Williams go into the National Archives one night and make the Constitution "disappear...

...He is from Macomb County, Michigan (please see my March 16 memo on the importance of Macomb as a key battleground), with a Polish-Hispanic-American Indian-Southern Baptist working-class ancestry, an alliance that trended GOP in the '80s but has since been dealigning...