Parody
Parody Dole: Yeah? Powell: Hey, Senator. How's the next president of the United States feeling today? Dole: Bob Dole's feeling great Feeling young. Fit Energy level's good Who the hell is...
...Dole: Voinovich...
...Powell: Good contrast again...
...Anybody else...
...Powell: No, really, it's a good line-up...
...Forget about it Just not going to happen...
...You're in fine physical condition, he's the Pillsbury dough boy...
...If George Voinovich wants to raise taxes, by God you can bet he'll raise taxes until your nose bleeds...
...Powell: Whoa...
...Gosh, I wish it was a call I did yet hear, but it's just out of the question...
...Dole: WellPowell: I like the contrast You're a war hero, he didn't serve in the military...
...He'sDole: Got triplets...
...Shuffleboard starts in 10 minutes andPowell: Too bad it's a call I do not yet hear...
...Dole: Tommy Thompson...
...You're tough, reasonable, moderate...
...Dole: Oh...
...Maybe you could introduce me at the convention...
...Colin Powell...
...President-to-be...
...Powell: Right Whatever...
...You want a guy with the courage of his convictions...
...Powell: It's Colin, Senator...
...Fit Energy level's good Who the hell is this...
...Powell: Of course/couldn't do it So put the idea out of your mind Please...
...Ohio...
...And Bob, I'd want you to hold the Bible when I take the oath of officeDole: Colin...
...Big chubby guy, right...
...You know, it's pretty tempting Havin' you up there, by my side...
...Three cute babies...
...Engler, maybePowell: Engler...
...I mean that Dole: Colin, I've got to go...
...People will love that...
...Dole: Okay Powell: I don't follow politics much...
...Powell: Puh-leeze...
...Two war heroes...
...Watch out...
...Real bench strength in your party-sorry, our party...
...Michigan...
...Dole: How are you, General...
...and you, too, Bob...
...Big state Powell: Love it...
...Of course, some of us were busy cutting off an army and killing it, but anyway...
...Babies are the future...
...It's Colin to you, Mr...
...What it's all about Powell: Sure...
...But think about it...
...One with charisma, youth, gravitas out the wazoo...
...That Greek broad likes John Kasich...
...Probably conceived during the Gulf War...
...Charisma overload...
...Powell: And I'll be counting on your experience, Bob, when it comes time to make those tough decisions...
...I just wanted to call and congratulate you-and to wish you good luck on your vice-presidential selection...
...Governor...
...So who are you going to pick...
...But someone told me about poll data, indicating within a 3.5 percent margin of error that Powell-Dole runs ahead of good ol' Bob Dole by 5, or 7, or even 8.5 points, depending on sampling technique and weighting of variables, of course Powell-Dole could be pretty toughDole: You mean Dole-Powell...
...Forget the formalities...
...Dole: And Kasich...
...It's a call I do not yet hear...
...Who else...
...You're an adult Kasich looks like he's working on a balanced-budget merit badge You could do a photo-op when he shaves for the first time Dole: Well, look...
...Dole: Well, been thinking about one of those Midwest governors...
Vol. 1 • April 1996 • No. 30
