Casual
Swezey, Nicholas H.B.
Casual ALBERT AND ALEX AND ME “Who is . . . Albert Schweitzer?” After years of being a fan of the TV game show Jeopardy!, I’m fi nally on as a contestant, and so far my performance is not...
...Then, around 10:30 A.M., the audience began to fi le into the studio, and we retreated to the green room for some last-minute makeup and coffee...
...Sleep has been diffi cult, not to mention work...
...It’s a crucial break, and I’ve staked most of my winnings on knowing something about “Humanitarians...
...I couldn’t make my buzzer work, and Shad and Lee Ann were sweeping the game...
...She beats me at my own best category, “Authors...
...Truth is, now that it’s over, I miss the anticipation of being on the show...
...I was frantic, sweating though it was 64 degrees in the studio...
...Who wrote Harvest Home...
...Sitting in the cramped green room of Sony Pictures Studios in Los Angeles, I was less intimidated by the casual chatter of my fellow competitors—completing this Ph.D., lecturing at that university— than by the clothes...
...Wuthering Heights...
...In the morning, we ran through two full rehearsals, testing buzzers, taping a few spots for the show’s website...
...We drew cards to determine who would appear on the fi rst show against three-time champion Shad, and I was one, along with Lee Ann...
...SWEZEY...
...I relax just slightly, and the rest of the game is taut: a terrifi c back-and-forth among the three of us to see who will emerge champion...
...Wherever I’ve gone, whatever I’ve done, if there wasn’t some fact to be gleaned I’ve felt as though I were missing an opportunity to prepare...
...we’re only a few thousand dollars apart...
...The crew at Jeopardy...
...I fi nd myself studying even without the incentive of going on TV...
...At the fi rst commercial break I was in third place...
...After a brief conversation at center stage with Alex, I wink to my wife in the audience and am ushered once more into the green room for makeup and coffee, then back into the ring to face new challengers...
...tried to make contestants feel relaxed, but it was diffi cult...
...The day leading up to the taping was especially nerve-racking...
...This process repeats itself three more times before I fi nally lose to Tracy, an attorney from Florida...
...In that moment, I relax completely for the fi rst time in months...
...The last question: Identify the source of an ancient aphorism about war...
...My goals: Answer a few questions, win enough money to make a respectable “Final Jeopardy...
...wager, then exit, dignity more or less intact...
...It is...
...Looking down at my small carry-on containing a semi-starched shirt, a tie, and two collar stays, I wondered what I was in for...
...The clue, as I hear it over the pounding in my ears: “Gabon . . . 20th century . . . organ concerts . . . Europe...
...I miss coming home and having a reason to force myself to review old college textbooks, to read poetry, to reclaim some of the information, useless and useful, I’ve managed to forget over the years...
...Yet from the very fi rst clue, even this looked wildly ambitious...
...For months, it’s been impossible to relax...
...I could have come up with those answers...
...By the time we reach “Final Jeopardy...
...Obviously, everyone here expects to be on the show for some time: They’ve brought overnight bags, hanging bags, rolling bags, steamer trunks...
...I ask my question, and the show’s host—Alex Trebek, the man who is Jeopardy!—looks at me and says something...
...Maryland...
...The moment had come...
...My son’s baby books about airplanes and dinosaurs have proved to be fonts of information...
...Hearing the familiar voice of announcer Johnny Gilbert read your own name is surreal, but no more so than the arrival onstage of Alex Trebek...
...I’m rereading Petrarch and Goncharov and some European and American histories...
...NICHOLAS H.B...
...I guess that’s fi tting, since all my winnings will go to education...
...It doesn’t hurt a bit that I’ve just won $32,001...
...By the time my son is ready for college, the annual tuition at any half-decent private school should take the full $78,202 I ultimately won on Jeopardy...
...Prosciutto...
...Still, I’ve managed to snare a “Daily Double” on the fi nal clue of the fi rst round...
...I reminded myself that from the start, I’d kept my expectations low...
...We’re here to tape fi ve consecutive shows, and the producers told us to bring changes of clothing so as to look fresh for each “new” appearance, assuming we win and remain in the game...
...I exhale...
...But suddenly—Albert Schweitzer bails me out...
...I hear the word “correct...
...The game is fl ying by, and the stress is wearing me down...
...I’ve spent hours in the library studying atlases, books of American history, copies of Scientifi c American and the Times Literary Supplement...
...I make a guess: It has to be The Art of War...
...We’re calling it the Albert Schweitzer Memorial College Fund...
...After years of being a fan of the TV game show Jeopardy!, I’m fi nally on as a contestant, and so far my performance is not impressive...
Vol. 13 • November 2007 • No. 9
