Give Me Bandwidth. . . .

KESSLER, ANDY

Give Me Bandwidth . . . No one to root for in the net neutrality debate. BY ANDY KESSLER FINDING IT HARD to understand the "net neutrality" debate? On one side are the hip, cool, billionaire web...

...No one guarantees Intel a return before they spend billions in R&D on their next Pentium chip to beat their competitors at AMD...
...Telcos and cable companies have no choice but to lobby for legislation that bars neutrality...
...But why wait a decade while lobbyists run interference...
...Despite the fact that they are basically schlocky ad salesmen on a grand scale, they're pushing this quaint, self-serving '60s notion that the Internet is a town square—all for one and one for them, or something like that...
...Because without the ability to extract money from the webbies for the use of their not-so-fast Alexander Graham Bell-era wires (forget that you and I already overpay for this), AT&T or Verizon might not have anny business model going forward...
...Bam-Bam, not Barney Rubble is the future...
...We'll never get 10 megabits to our homes, let alone the multiples of that speed that are possible and affordable today if these telco Goliaths keep covering up their crown jewels...
...His next book, The End of Medicine: How Silicon Valley (and Naked Mice) Will Reboot Your Doctor, is out in July...
...If they're one of the anchor stores, they might pay a lot...
...For phone companies, too much Internet bandwidth would threaten their bread and butter—overpriced $25 per month (it's worth no more than $1) phone service and hot innovations like call waiting...
...Everyone should be allowed to hang out in the town square and use it as they please, one low price, eat all you want at the buffet...
...This sounds wrong...
...So how do we fix this...
...Far better to have competition, as long as it's real, than let Congress shape the coming communications chaos and creativity...
...Have you wondered why Internet video doesn't fill your computer monitor and look like a DVD, but instead is pixelated dreck in a tiny one or two inch square...
...Maybe the incumbent network providers—the Verizons, Comcasts, AT&Ts—can be made to compete...
...How do we rip the telco's trolley tracks out and enable something modern and real competition...
...Silly, right...
...It's not just more bandwidth and better Internet video—how about no more phone numbers, just a name and the service finds you...
...Take the telcos and cable companies out at the knees...
...And that's just the easy stuff...
...We'll only get there via competition...
...Sounds like capitalism...
...Horse-drawn trolleys ruled cities, too, but had to be destroyed to make way for progress...
...These are the folks who laid the pipe that delivers the Internet—the blogs and pirated movies and photos of Shiloh Brangelina—to your house or office...
...Satellite TV is content to charge just a hair under cable's pricing umbrella...
...If telcos or cable charge too much, someone should be in a position to steal the customer...
...These are privately owned wires hanging on poles...
...What new things...
...Since 1998, telecommunications companies have outspent computer and Internet firms on politicians $231 million to $71 million, just to keep the status quo...
...Net neutrality is already the boring old status quo...
...So far, the telcos are winning— a bid to add net neutrality language to a telecommunications bill was Andy Kessler is a former hedge fund manager turned author...
...We don't even know what new things are possible...
...But this may not be the only possible outcome...
...On the other side are the monopolist plumbers like Verizon and AT&T and Comcast...
...But don't give in to the cable/telco status quo either...
...Think special, high-speed priority for campaign commercials or educational videos about global warming...
...I'd rather let the market sort these things out...
...Even if you end the monopolies, the incumbents have the advantage of a huge head start...
...And who knows what else...
...As Dean Wormer might put it: Fat, drunk (on profits), and stupid is no way to go through life, son...
...Are we stuck in telco hell...
...The mantra should be "megabits to phones and gigabits to homes...
...In parts of the world, cell phones are faster...
...But the answer is not regulations imposing net neutrality...
...Here's an idea: Start screaming like a madman and using four letter words—like K-E-L-O...
...If Congress does nothing, we will probably end up paying more for a fast network optimized for Internet phone calls and video and shopping...
...They think the Internet is more like a giant shopping mall, and they're the mall owners...
...With better video over the Internet, who would want E!, let alone the Style Network...
...In real, competitive markets, the market provides access to capital...
...Sure, property rights are important, but that doesn't mean we can't shake a cattle prod at our stagnant monopolists and say "update or get out of the way...
...And fancier words like "eminent domain...
...Or roadblocks—like requiring emergency 911 service—to try to kill off free Internet telephone services such as Skype...
...We don't want a town square or a dilapidated mall—we want a vibrant metropolis...
...So start with this line: "Economic underdevelopment and stagnation are also threats to the public sufficient to make their removal cognizable as a public purpose...
...telecommunications in the Flint-stone era and overcharge for calls to Grandma than upgrade their networks...
...Phone lines, cable, and cellular—i.e., the means of Internet access—are all regulated...
...But what market...
...No one guarantees Cisco a return on their investment before they deploy their next router to beat Juniper...
...threatening to seize their stagnating networks via eminent domain is just one creative idea to get them to do this...
...With no real competition, they'd rather keep U.S...
...You the customer can walk around as if you were in the town square, but the tenants (see billionaire web service companies above) are going to have to pay for the upkeep of the premises...
...Network neutrality won't be the laissez-faire sandbox its supporters think, but more like used kitty litter...
...How about subscribing to a channel and being able to watch it when and where you want, on your TV, iPod, or laptop...
...Forget the argument that telcos need to be guaranteed a return on investment or they won't upgrade our bandwidth...
...Surely there exists some clever Silicon Valley counsel to twist the wording of the precedent...
...Hate to break the news, but your "fast" DSL Internet access is no longer considered high speed...
...Cable has a lock on our homes via local franchise bribes, er, fees, so we get Lifetime and Animal Planet that no one watches...
...The French may burn Citroens, but they get 10 megabits for 10 euros— 50 times your "fast" Internet access for half the price...
...We all know that regulations beget more lobbyists...
...Bandwidth is like putty in the hands of entrepreneurs—new regulations are cement...
...Because of this Fred and Wilma thinking, the United States is 16th in the world in broadband use (behind Liechtenstein...
...On one side are the hip, cool, billionaire web service companies like Google, eBay, Yahoo, and even Microsoft...
...Net neutrality is their rallying cry...
...Something worth paying for...
...That's just not right...
...A truly competitive, non-neutral network could work, but only if we know its real economic value...
...The telcos may want to treat the Internet like a shopping mall that they own, but the premises are looking awfully sketchy...
...I know, I know...
...their operators are quasi-monopo-lies...
...Broadcasters own valuable spectrum and feed us cretinous shows like Wife ^•wap and The Bachelor...
...In the long run, technology doesn't sleep...
...Maybe then we'd see useful services and a better Internet...
...If Congress doesn't act, does this mean Apple might pay 10 cents per iTunes download to Bellsouth...
...Well, not so fast, and that's the problem...
...In an effort to skim their own fees off the Google crowd, lobbyists and Congress have also taken up the fight...
...You can't keep competitive King Kong in chains...
...The government-mandated owners have been neglecting them for years—we are left with slums in need of redevelopment...
...Instead, these webbies should get creative, change the rules...
...with East Timor catching up fast...
...How about a baby monitor you can view through your cell phone...
...shot down 269-152 by the House on June 8—but this is one of those bizarre issues where both sides are off their rocker...
...Silicon Valley can ignite a political arms race and spend more on lobbyists, but why play an old man's game...
...Will we pay $1 per video played in your browser to Comcast...
...Regulations—even regulations that look friendly to the Googles and Yahoos and hostile to the telcos—will just freeze us where we are today...
...Well, Comcast is dragging its heels, too...
...Will Google have to pay 5 percent of ad revenue to AT&T for speedy delivery of your search results...
...Without even being paid by the hour, I read through the Supreme Court's Kelo v. City of New London eminent domain rulings...
...You can already smell the mandates and the loopholes once Congress gets involved...
...But so what...

Vol. 11 • June 2006 • No. 39


 
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