Casual
Currie, Duncan
Casual PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE I used to be perfectly confident I knew what the end of Western civilization would look like. It was obvious to me that celebrity-gossip magazines such as People, Us...
...And it sure beats wading through the demerits of ethanol subsidies...
...Not any more...
...Or that Robert Downey Jr...
...It may be a guilty pleasure, but it's still pleasure...
...Under the influence of my girlfriend, I've let down my guard...
...Catch up on Nick and Jessica's marital spat...
...Bored with Social Security...
...I need a regular fix of Brad-Angelina-Jen updates...
...Or that Courteney Cox is a compulsive property-flipper, and hubby David Arquette enjoys shooting hoops...
...I did this for her several times...
...I've undergone a conversion to the Dark Side...
...a steady diet of Lindsay Lohan rumors...
...Lately, something remarkable has happened...
...Tired of dissecting the filibuster deal...
...It was obvious to me that celebrity-gossip magazines such as People, Us Weekly, In Touch, and Star offered a glimpse into the cultural abyss...
...To go home and open a dirt-dishing celeb mag feels almost as refreshing as to reach for an ice-cold beer...
...Still, contrary to my best, most elevated instincts, I've enjoyed my brief escapes to Celeb Land...
...And there's another, more practical explanation for my newborn glossy-philia: It gets reinforcement from the culture...
...In the old days, before turning to the glossies, I struggled to keep pace with friends and coworkers...
...Like all junkies, I realize I may someday have to kick the habit...
...A big part of it has to be relief...
...Pretty soon, I noticed I was starting to remember the starlets' names and romantic histories, and generally enjoying the colorful parade...
...It is mindless gossip, with plenty of pictures...
...Slowly, the truth about my new addiction dawned on me...
...I now possess a hearty trove of celebrity factoids...
...Hilton is ubiquitous in the glossies...
...But thanks to the June 13 issue of Us Weekly, I do...
...I still can't say exactly what the appeal is...
...That makes it harder than ever to remain aloof from it all...
...I stopped sneering at the show-biz glossies long enough to allow my carefully suppressed plebeian sensibilities just a little play—and before I knew it I had seen the light, shining bright as the glitzy sparkle off J-Lo's rocks...
...And how could I forget Paris Hilton...
...Celebrity voyeurism has gone mainstream...
...Even some presentable journalists are caught alluding to the freshest chatter about Britney Spears, Ben Affleck, et al...
...I used to be above it all...
...It seemed chivalrous to shelve the disdain...
...Bet not...
...The glossies are pretty cheap, but if you buy a couple every week, the cost adds up...
...DUNCAN CURRIE...
...But that was then...
...But keeping up with their antics is darn good fun...
...It's not that I suddenly find Hollywood celebrities to be interesting people—I don't...
...I was hopelessly out of the loop...
...Or is it just a PR stunt...
...Waiting in line at CVS, I thumbed through the pages...
...Here's Paris gallivanting with her Greek shipping-heir fiance (also named Paris) in L.A...
...No red-blooded male fancies himself a consumer of insipid celebrity tittle-tattle—you don't need to tell me, the quintessential recovering anti-glossy snob...
...Now there's simply no denying it: I'm hooked...
...Thanks in part to the Internet and the 24/7 news cycle, there are now innumerable ways to track show-biz gossip...
...There's Paris strolling in to dinner with her House of Wax costars in London...
...She's the perfect icon for our celebrity-mad culture...
...I suppose I should blush at this disclosure...
...For example, do you know that Jennifer Garner has never received an email from her mother...
...Which is what we readers want...
...takes yoga classes...
...Such pop-culture chitchat peppers our day-to-day dialogue...
...As an avatar of contemporary American celebrity, the pencil-thin Ms...
...Turn to page 36 to find out...
...The flagship journal of the Celeb Movement is, of course, People, though some fellow addicts prefer Star, which trades in wilder stories and rumors, National Enquirer-style...
...When you spend the bulk of your workday knee-deep in politics, policy, and punctuation, it's just too grim to invest after-hours energies in censoriousness...
...My anti-celeb-mag haughtiness barred me from many conversations...
...Plus, I'm starting to spend a bit too much time agonizing over Lindsay Lohan's weight loss...
...Unlike People—which always serves up a few feel-good news articles, staking a vain claim for respectability—Us makes no pretense of being actual journalism...
...See where Cameron Diaz shops on Rodeo...
...The natives are well known for their vanity, their frivolity, and their air of conceit...
...Then one day, when I was going to run an errand at the drug store, my girlfriend asked me to pick up a copy of In Touch...
...My personal fave is Us Weekly...
...and the latest news on Tom and Katie's budding dalliance...
Vol. 10 • June 2005 • No. 38
