A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile Or Two The Job for Him She was one of those little women Who are always looking for something that will take up their husbamls' idle time. "John," she said, "I wish you would mend the...
...Birmingham Aye Herald...
...and then unguardedly indulged in forceful language about the war...
...I've g-got the s-haking ague...
...4 » * • Kacli Man to His Own The parson had caught Sandy, the apothecary, discussing theology and admonished him to stick to his pills...
...The beadle had noticed "the mistake, and in silence lie allowed the farmer to aiiss the plate for twenty-three consecutive Sundays...
...What do ye ken aboot war...
...it's a combined corkscrew, can-opener, pocket-knife, screw-driver, tack-hammer, glass-cutter, and—" "Hold on a minute...
...Why not...
...On market days many people from the country And their way to the picture gallery, and nearly all admire this lite-like painting...
...On the twenty-fourth Sunday the farmer again ignored the plate, but the old beadle stretched the ladle in front of him and, in a loud, tragic whisper, hoarsely said: "Your time's up noo, Sandy...
...The other day an old country-woman stood gazing at it for quite a lung time and, aa she turned to go, exclaimed: "No wonder the child fainted, after dragging that big dog out of the water...
...1 don't want one of those things...
...I can't say that 1 did...
...John," she said, "I wish you would mend the front door lock...
...Puck...
...you can sift the ashes...
...steck to yer ain hell, mon...
...Oh, well, then, I know the very thing...
...protested Sandy...
...Ejc...
...What Is it...
...1 put a twa-shillin' piece in the plate at the kirk this morning instead o' ma usual penny...
...Kcclesiturtical Dues Enforced "1 can na' get ower it," a Scuttish farmer remarked to his wife...
...Safety lu Numbers "I have litre...
...tlx...
...HI, Dominie...
...Chi-cayo xacs...
...said the agent, a Otensil that uo housekeeper can ufforU to be without...
...Saved by Himself A distinguished comedian who tells stories Very well was invited to a diu-ner, and for the gTeater part of the evening entertained the company...
...Indeed, If I had not been there I should have been very bored...
...C-can't...
...By keeping all those tools separate it is impossible for my husband to lose more than one at a time...
...Her Point of View In a certain provincial art gallery there is a picture entitled "Saved," representing a large Newfoundland dog standing over a child whom it had rescued from the river...
...repliedjJohn, quaking like an aspen leaf...
...When lie returned to his hotel, thoroughly tired, his wife said: "Well, did you have a good time''" "No...
...asked the woman at the door...
Vol. 9 • March 1917 • No. 3
