A ROOM OF OUR OWN

...As if we didn't have enough heart-ache in this world of ours, el observe an epidemic of alarming proportions among the "family relations" experts (and who isn't one...

...Keep on writing to preserve and develop your common interests and hang onto your self-confidence...

...So for Pete's sake, you gals who are in the same boat, don't let the marriage doctors scare you...

...Those who are "happily married" can stand almost anything if that relationship is right, and conversely, if it is wrong the world appears jaundiced...

...Fortunately, according to my observation most men who aire fairly contented view their wives quite unrealistically as the girls they married years ago and just because they like them, they are okay...

...it always has been and I fear always will be a part of the emotional dislocations of war from which no section of the population seems immune...

...Greatest Asset In Marriage We all recognize that the most sensitive core of the individual, where his ego and self-confidence live, is inextricably bound up in his love life...

...As a matter of fact, as a poignant short story, "Home from the Wars," in a recent New Yorker indicated, the returned hero and his wife do not exist in a vacuum but in a world jammed with material details such as where to live and eat, getting some one to stay with the baby, the washing and ironing and cooking, and a myriad other problems which taken together form the background of any life...

...However, a larger proportion of couples separated by the war are from the substantial citizens who form the "backbone of the nation," and for whom their marriage is the foundation of their lives...

...With that to go on, I can plug a while longer...

...I have often remarked that the reason Phil and I have had so few ructions between us is because we have been so busy fighting for the "cause...

...The older I grow the more I realize that outsiders cannot fathom the personal relationship between man and wife which, if right between the two of them, no amount of external trial can touch, and they will endure untold suffering to maintain...

...Surmounting Material Details In my association with other "war widows" I am very aware of the sensitivity of both the women and their husbands toward this vital question of marriage stability...

...A Room Of Our Own By Isabel La Follette AFTER my month's "vacation" from this column, you might think that I would be all sweetness and light, but no, I have another bone to pick...

...Don't Be Scared As the gray hairs and wrinkles appear along with the inevitable lonely hours, it takes a very smug and unimaginative woman (or man) not to question her devastating charms...

...The kind of warnings with tragic examples that are being spread via the press these days will have no effect on the impulsive and headlong, but they do worry the serious-minded...

...Though the marriage may be the culmination of a childhood admiration, friendship, or a passionate affair, there is no doubt but that, as Dorothy Dix maintains in her constant advice to the young, as the years go on and the fires of youth settle, the greatest asset in marriage is a good disposition...

...In spite of Phil's exceptional letters, the dire-predictors had even lodged a little seed in my mind which was only dispelled by Phil's very Obvious belief that his home, children, wife, and friends were wonder* ful...

...That's the best marriage insurance I have observed, and while I am only a novice in the field, I'll back Dorothy Dix against the most dour expert...

...Any fears and doubts are better kept to yourself—they will come and go— but let the guy know that no matter what misery he may be enduring, you are waiting with a warm hearth, his favorite dish, perfect children, gay times, and confidence in your common future together...

...Just as one teacher remarked concerning Parent-Teacher meetings that "The wrong parents always come," so with the wives who do not need the threats of the experts: the wrong ones take the warning to heart...

...But the inevitable struggles and buffets of life make us all yearn for a haven to which we can turn for comfort and joy...

...To achieve this, however, she must have confidence that her efforts are appreciated—if she is to be "good-natured" and "happy" and generally up-to-specifications...

...prognosticating and warning us all about the postwar divorces in the offing...

...Now every normally intelligent citizen has observed the phenomenon of war marriages...

...However worthy their intent, the sounders-off on this subject would do well to remind themselves that the men overseas, the ones they are talking about, consider the calamity-howlers among those at home profiting from the soldier's sacrifice...

...The women I know make every effort to surmount these difficulties so prevalent in wartime so that their men, whether on leave or permanently returned, will find home as pleasant and normal as she can make it...

...That many of these marriages will go on the rocks is inevitable where the human material involved cannot meet the stresses and strains presently and ahead...

...the variety in individual taste is un-ending...

...That sounds un-romantic and prosaic to the young— I recall pooh-poohing the idea when my mother expressed it many years ago...

...One friend, for instance, who has been married 20 years and whose husband is a very paragon of domestic virtue, gets quite concerned about his opportunities in New Guinea (in fact quite slim, I judge) for meeting more interesting and youthful women, and she confided to me in all seriousness some time ago that when our husbands' appearance was imminent we ought to go down to Ghieago and take some Elizabeth Arden treatments...

...As I try to get over to the children when they ask, "What in the world does she see in him—or he in her...