A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two The Pursuit of Knowlege The following answers were recently taken from examination papers of applicants for admission to a university. The Chamois is valuable for its feathers; the...
...The feminine gender of friar is toastress...
...Salesman—Why, madam, the very first umbrella that is left in it may be worth more than that.—Boston Transcript...
...The qualifications of a voter at a school meeting are that he must be the father of a child for eight weeks...
...Suddenly two members of the track team, dressed in their scanty running costume and headed for a spin on the road, passed the strolling couple...
...A cantankerous middle-aged woman stepped up and asked him what he wanted...
...One of the members of the party, a charming young woman, was escorted through the grounds by a learned but very absent-minded professor...
...First Reporter—He told me in an interview that he began life as a schoolteacher—Indianapolis Star...
...was Mr...
...The feminine gender of bull is Mrs...
...Gravitation is that if there were none we should fly away...
...He was in an English restaurant and wanted eggs for breakfast, but had forgotten the English word...
...they were mostly lawyers...
...Then why," he asked absently, "did you leave them off...
...A Bargain...
...The stomach forms a part of the Adam's apple...
...George Washington married Martha Curtis, and in due time became the father of his country...
...When Cicero delivered this oration he was a preflx...
...Seeing's Believing Down in Kentucky is a self-made man who has acquired a considerable fortune in the building and renting of small cottages...
...Be this the woman's exchange...
...The first Governor of Mass...
...The stomach is just south of the ribs...
...Well, if I were you," said the operator who delivered the message, "I'd think twice before I'd marry a girl who kept me waiting so long for an answer...
...Four animals belonging to the cat family are the father cat, the mother cat and two little kittens...
...Wishing to know his fate, he telegraphed a proposal of marriage to the lady of his choice...
...he persisted...
...Climate is caused by the emotion of the earth around the sun...
...Sixty gallons make one hedgehog...
...Na, na," replied the Scot, "The lass for me is the lass who waits for the night rates...
...The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana...
...The hen, sir...
...I leave 'em like they are now till the plasterin' gits dirty, and then paper 'em...
...A mountain range is a large cook-stove...
...she replied, in no gentler tones...
...Most of his building operations are personally superintended by the owner...
...The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off...
...And vat you call de rooster's children...
...Eggs, sir...
...Ladies' Home Journal...
...Farming Business...
...Second Reporter—Why do you think so...
...A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle...
...There were no Christians among the early Gauls...
...Salem Witchcraft...
...Uncle Mike," he inquired of the capitalist, "how do you aim to finish up the walls inside...
...I am...
...After waiting all day at the telegraph office he received an affirmative answer late at night...
...The Christian Family...
...It was in the late fall, and the air was crisp and cold...
...Increased Frigidity A party of strangers were paying a visit to one of the colleges...
...A blizzard is the inside of a hen...
...Chickens, sir...
...I should think you would paint the walls at the beginning," said the other man...
...But vat you call de chicken before dey are chicken...
...You know they say germs breed behind wall paper...
...The rosetta stone was a missionary to Turkey...
...A Long Chase Necessity is the mother of invention, and the hungry Frenchman told about in a biography recently published in England illustrates the old adage anew...
...the whale for its kerosene oil...
...Same as I always do," stated the proprietor...
...The function of the stomach is to hold up the petticoats...
...I'm seventy-five, year old and I been puttin' up and tearin' down houses all my life, and I ain't never seen one of them germs yit...
...She's The Lass For Me He was a Scot, with the usual thrifty characteristics of his race...
...So he got around the difficulty in the following way: "Vaiterre, vat is dat valking in the yard...
...Georgia was founded by people who had been executed...
...Louis...
...Letting Well 'Nough Alone A lank Missourian walked into a woman's exchange in St...
...Customer—I like that umbrella stand, but I don't think it is worth $3...
...A rooster, sir...
...The professor's mind, deep in contemplation of the fourth dimension or some other equally perplexing problem, was attracted by the sound of the girl's voice...
...she snapped...
...Gender shows whether a man is feminine, masculine or neuter...
...Bright, Indeed First Reporter—Senator Bulyun must have been a bright baby...
...Achilles was dipped in the River Styx to make him immoral...
...he inquired...
...A mountain pass is a pass given by the railroads to its employes so that they can spend their vacations in the mountains...
...The purpose of the skeleton: Something to hitch meat to...
...An' be ye the woman...
...Ah, and vat you call de rooster's vife...
...It's dreadfully cold," remarked the young woman, with a dainty shiver as she gazed after the lightly clad runners, "to be without stockings...
...He looked around thoughtfully, transferred his tobacco from one cheek to the other, edged toward the door, then remarked casually, "Wall, I reckon I'll keep Sal...
...One day not so very long ago he was watching a gang of workmen as they put the finishing touches upon a couple of dwellings, when a citizen happened along and halted to view the progress of the work...
...A vacuum is a large, empty space where the Pope lives...
...I don't take no stock in those lies," said Uncle Mike...
...Geometry teaches us how to bisect angels...
...Bring me two...
...Bull...
...It is...
Vol. 8 • December 1916 • No. 12
