Hypocrites Galore
Clinton, Kate
Unplugged Kate Clinton Hypocrites Galore Adisturbing new disorder is sweeping the nation. First there was SAD, Social Anxiety Disorder. Formerly known as "shy" SAD is fear or apprehension...
...Then there was an epidemic of RLS, Restless Leg Syndrome, not to be confused with the twitching next to you on the delayed N.Y...
...During his campaign, Mrs...
...If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me...
...As I write, no word yet on whether Giuliani has dropped him as his Southern regional campaign chair...
...Formerly known as "shy" SAD is fear or apprehension regarding social situations...
...Vitter was asked what she would do if her husband cheated on her, and she said, "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary...
...Blow jobs pale in this seven-year snow job, and I'll take orgasm over wargasm any day...
...Alberto Gonzales, the nation's leading law enforcement officer, preemptively ordering the Justice Department not to prosecute contempt of Congress charges if they concern assertions of executive privilege...
...You go, girl...
...Kate Clinton is a stand-down comic...
...But after Ted Haggard and Mark Foley, I knew I was in the throes of a full-blown SHF attack...
...After a week in which he worked on his press victimization 'tude, Vitter held a press conference flanked by his wife, Wendy, ably played by Allison Jan-ney—who was CJ, the press secretary on West Wing...
...And then he was back to work...
...The still hustling Larry Flynt notified Vitter's office that the Senator's number had appeared several times in the phone logs of a D.C...
...Ho, hum...
...He smarmed, "I don't believe there's any issue that's more important than this one...
...escort service...
...From an undisclosed location, perhaps on a tryst with the no-show Harriet Miers, Vitter e-pologized for the very serious sin of his past, took responsibility, and said that he had received forgiveness from his God and his wife...
...And when the story unfolded about Senator David Vitter, I felt like a drowsy chaperone at yet another orgy...
...During his prayerful seclusion, Vitter received more allegations from other prostitutes challenging that single "sin" statement...
...He wore me out with his hypocrisy long ago, and his is no mind of mensa...
...Yawn...
...Back in the good old days of the Clinton impeachment, after the multi-philandering Newt Gingrich stepped down, his successor, the Speaker-elect Bob Livingston, resigned when his extramarital affairs became public, thanks to the investigative hustle of Larry Flynt...
...Despite all the dizzying, juicy details, my schaden has lost its freude...
...Salacious rumors of a diaper fetish, Pampers not Astronaut, whipped through the Internet...
...Louisiana legislator Vitter campaigned for Livingston's vacant house seat and won...
...He needs Vitter to stay...
...I just can't get it up anymore for the predictable disconnect between screed and deed...
...Apparently Lorena Vitter's vitriol has a cutoff date...
...He led the election-year fight to bring the Marriage Protection Amendment to the Senate floor...
...Ah, but there was: How phone logs work...
...to D.C...
...US Air shuttle...
...You can be sure Joe Lieberman, the Senate swinger, did not start them...
...Give them all a per diem...
...Harriet Miers, she who wanted to be on the Supreme Court, showing contempt of Congress...
...Vitter is a family-values, anti-choice, abstinence-only social conservative who called for Clinton to resign to preserve the moral fabric of the country...
...Now there's SHF, Sexual Hypocrisy Fatigue, and I've got a wicked case of it...
...Plain old Hypocrisy Fatigue I can handle...
Vol. 71 • September 2007 • No. 9
