Victory Laps
Clinton, Kate
Unplugged Kate Clinton Victory Laps My Indian girlfriend makes me capture crickets using a humane catch-and-release program that would make a Lou Dobbs Minuteman Border Patrol pitch an epi. I go...
...The landing strip for the Second Coming is ready...
...While my fallen-away Catholic beliefs still imbue me with eschatological hopes for an afterlife, I have totally embraced her tenet...
...Dick Cheney continues in his role as head of the Executive Branch of government...
...It is pure projection on my part...
...Not George Tenet...
...On 60 Minutes, he cheshired as the blindingly blonde, embedded reporter Lesley Stahl dimpled, "You were a jazz player...
...I honor her loosely held belief in reincarnation...
...How about a Bush Shelf at the Creation Museum instead...
...Still drowsy from my night patrol, and frowsy from trying to make sense of Maureen Dowd, I asked, "And...
...Karl Rove angles to captain the "Swift Boat Veterans Threatened by Powerful Women," a.k.a...
...The Grandmaster of UWM, the Idiot-in-Chief, announced in a recent legacy-building interview that when he leaves office, he wants to start a "fantastic Freedom Institute" in Dallas for promoting global democracy...
...Southern Methodist University still plans on housing the Bush Presidential Lie-brary, despite resistance from some Methodist ministers...
...Rapture Man is divinely unconflicted because he has done his job as independent contractor of intelligent design...
...I go quickly to the door and, at a decent distance from the house, release the critter into the wild...
...Nestle it into one of the Creation dioramas...
...In the Vanity Fair that finally chronicles the media goring of Al Gore, gung-ho war ho Christopher Hitchens chronicles not his war makeover but his spa treatment...
...His work here is done...
...The under-reported party spoiler was Naomi Klein's simultaneously released The Shock Doctrine, as welcome in the discourse as an unclaimed backpack in a bus terminal...
...I can be driven to violence by night sounds, but when it comes to crickets, I bow to my skittish, delegative partner's wishes...
...Mostly he noticed that you can make big bucks speechifying— his Dad and Bill Clinton have...
...Like a bad penny, Greenspan was everywhere—Newsweek, Jon Stewart, NewsHour...
...The "straight" was understood...
...In the U.S., they go on victory-lap book tours...
...Wide awake from cricket racket, I think, "He must have some regret for what he has done...
...The UWM roster grows each day...
...Donald Rumsfeld, who demurs that he is now "out of the loop" on the war, wants to start an institute to encourage more civic participation in government...
...He is the one in whom only he is well-pleased...
...Got to "replenish the ?? coffers...
...One morning, while reading the paper, she announced, as if I'd asked, that she finally knew her preferred form of reincarnation...
...Though he is a perfect example of UWM...
...In China, when officials err, they have the decency to kill themselves...
...The press rollout of UWM Alan Greenspan's preemptive save-face-book could serve as a model for a coordinated, well-executed exit strategy...
...In the midst of endless war, UWM are perfectly at peace with themselves...
...His tight tautologies make Miss Teen South Carolina's ramblings sound sane...
...Kate Clinton is a humorist...
...As if she were declaring a Halloween outfit, she stated that she wanted to come back as an Uncon-flicted White Man...
...the Giuliani campaign...
Vol. 71 • November 2007 • No. 11
