The Abstinence Scam
Ehrenreich, Barbara
Flip Side Barbara Ehrenreich The Abstinence Scam If things are not working out as planned, you might want to consider a career in the expanding field of abstinence education. It's generously...
...In each case, I embraced abstinence without any regret...
...Would you hire a flabby, out-of-shape personal fitness trainer...
...Disgusting, yes, but no doubt a surefire recipe for abstinence...
...There have been men in my life who were naturals at abstinence training without the slightest formal preparation...
...Maybe my spaghetti brain wasn't up to this challenge, but it did seem to imply that sex would involve a mixing of waffles and pasta, possibly with maple syrup for lubrication...
...A study commissioned by Congress revealed in April that abstinence training doesn't work: Students exposed to such training turn out to be no less likely to have sex than those who are not, leading some to question the more than $100 million the federal government spends on it annually...
...There is, however, one shadow hanging over the abstinence training industry...
...You should welcome their departure and, if you are heterosexual, take it as an opportunity to withdraw into your own gender-appropriate Tupperware compartment—spaghetti or waffle...
...Women's minds, on the other hand, are more interrelated due to increased brain connectors...
...Training to look at the sample curriculum...
...Think of the market for silver chastity rings in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities...
...But there's a deeper problem with abstinence training as currently conducted: It's being wasted on kids...
...None of it was terribly technical, until I got to the part about how to explain the difference between the sexes, where the following demonstration was suggested: "Bring to class frozen waffles and a bowl of spaghetti noodles without sauce...
...Would you undergo computer training with someone who hasn't touched a computer since 1987...
...My next step was to call Joneen Krauth-Mackenzie, executive director of WAIT, to further pin down the requirements for becoming an abstinence trainer...
...Her program admits only college-educated people, but they can be of any age or sex...
...Abstinence may be easier to achieve than you realize...
...Most people, though, require a bit of training to get into the abstinence training business, so I went to the website of WAIT (which is an acronym for Why Am I Tempted...
...Do they have to be abstinent themselves...
...Using these as visual aids, explain how research has found that men's brains are more like the waffle, in that their design allows them to more easily compartmentalize information...
...Well, yes, they could teach abstinence to gay teenagers...
...How about gays...
...Instead, it should focus on the vast, neglected demographic of middle-aged and elderly people, including the married...
...Nor do I think you should study abstinence with someone who behaves "like an animal" in bed...
...Her website is www.barbaraehrenreich.com...
...Barbara Ehrenreich is the author of, most recently, "Dancing in the Streets: A History of Collective Joy...
...I've got one more suggestion: The abstinence training profession should be restricted to abstinent people...
...It contained a lot about love, marriage, and STDs...
...Many of them have thought they just weren't getting any, so imagine how happy they will be to see their lifestyle affirmed as a noble, pro-active choice...
...One renounced dental hygiene...
...So—no barriers at all, and you can become a Certified Abstinence Trainer after only two days of training...
...I asked...
...In yet another case, marriage alone was enough to induce that sanctified state...
...Contrary to the assumptions of the framers of welfare reform, poverty—or at least sudden downward mobility—can lead to the rapid exit of significant others...
...Not at all, she assured me, proudly confessing to being "like an animal" with her husband...
...It's generously subsidized by the federal government, and has been since President Clinton signed the welfare reform bill of 1996, which provided abstinence training for impoverished women (though not, alas, for him...
...Another developed a passion for Frank Sinatra...
Vol. 71 • October 2007 • No. 10
