The First Green President
Durst, Will
Off the Map Will Durst The First Green President In the middle of the President's midwinter publicity tour, NBC's Brian Williams asked if the federal government's faltering response to Hurricane...
...Judicial appointments designed to nurture favorable decisions for the wealthy...
...Economic stimuli for the wealthy...
...If you ain't got nothing, he and his people will throw up roadblocks, plexiglas, guard dogs, razor wire, enough red tape to wrap a moose: whatever it takes to keep you from getting any...
...The only whales he's interested in saving are the kind that get comped 1,500-square-foot jacuzzi suites in Vegas...
...Tax cuts for the wealthy...
...Overseas incentives for the wealthy...
...Education cuts for the poor...
...It's not fair to call the President of the United States a racist...
...But the rich do order more expensive bottles of wine...
...So, let's be straight about this...
...Or a xylophone...
...George Bush doesn't hate black people...
...If you're not, you won't...
...Student aid cuts for the poor...
...George Bush doesn't hate poor people, either...
...Political comic Will Durst actually thinks poor people tip better...
...Outlandish dress codes at state dinners to further disenfranchise the poor...
...On the other hand, it's not fair to accuse him of not knowing how poor people live...
...He doesn't judge people by the color of their skin...
...He just LOVES rich people...
...Kanye West, although a wonderful singer and deserving of the Best Song Grammy for "Gold Digger," is dead wrong about the President...
...Like a fellow waiter back in Milwaukee used to say, "It's not that I like the rich more than the poor, it's just that they tip so much better...
...Rather, he is a cashist...
...Or a xenophobe...
...Pretty much as simple as that...
...And not just on paper...
...Complimentary all-you-can-eat seafood buffets with a pearl in every oyster for the wealthy...
...That's how they got rich...
...You see pictures of him looking out the windows of Air Force One as he flies over them all the time...
...Legislative amendments for the wealthy...
...Why do you think we're poor...
...But my theory is that that theory is crap...
...The First Green President, but about as friendly to the Sierra Club as a patch of thistles is to a pair of nylons...
...For the poor: You got your cuts...
...Not only is Bush not a racist, he is not an ageist or a sexist or a fascist or a typist...
...You give us poor people money, and we'll spend every damn penny we get our grubby little hands on...
...No-bid contracts for his buddies...
...Outsourcing jobs to create more poor...
...Or a homophobe...
...This is not a man who gives the tiniest whit about black or white...
...Besides, I don't know about you, but I'm tired of being trickled on...
...A whole lot...
...With a love of operatic magnitude...
...This is a man who cares only about green, and whether or not you have any...
...Which was not the point, but it certainly is true...
...His reedy twang trembled, and he snarled with a noticeable lack of teleprompting, "You can call me anything you want, but do not call me a racist...
...Secret winking loopholes for the wealthy...
...Off the Map Will Durst The First Green President In the middle of the President's midwinter publicity tour, NBC's Brian Williams asked if the federal government's faltering response to Hurricane Katrina was due to racial indifference, and for a half a second you could almost hear Dubya's vertebrae fuse together as he perceptibly grew about a quarter of a millimeter...
...I know the theory on paper is trickle down...
...Rich people hang onto their money...
...To boil it down, if you got money, just sit yourself in a comfy chair and prepare to get showered with more...
...That rich people will spend their money, which eventually will trickle down to the poor...
...Blowing it on superfluous stuff like food and rent and medicine and gasoline...
...Silly, profligate us...
...Look at his record...
...Food stamp and nutritional cuts for the poor...
...Who happen to be, say it with me now . . . wealthy...
...With George Bush in charge, it's a bull market for the poor...
...In George Bush's America, if you're wealthy, you'll get taken care of...
...He judges people by the size of their wallets...
...Medicaid and Medicare cuts for the poor...
Vol. 70 • February 2006 • No. 2
