A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two Taboo on Bill Mother—Johnny, stop using such dreadful language! Johnny—Well, mother, William Shakespeare uses it. Mother—Then don't play with him; he's no fit companion for...
...Hey, my man," quoth the motorist, "do you mind looking after my car while I go inside for a few minutes...
...LrrTLE Girl—Why, all of me.—Tit-Bits...
...Sad But True X.—Do you believe that "too many cooks spoil the broth...
...Mamma," said she, with a very serious expression, "don't men ever go to heaven...
...No Obstacle The motorist drew up at the hotel just as one of the city fathers was leaving that establishment...
...Don't speak to me—I'm civilization...
...Bertha—And it is still a dream, Hetty.—Boston Transcript...
...Why are you fighting so...
...asked the bystanders, with a disposition to get to the bottom of the matter...
...Lady—Which part, dear...
...A Problem While instructing his class regarding the early days of the New England states a school-teacher asked: "Do you know that the house of burgesses in those days was so powerful that it controlled the clothes worn by the men...
...Here a draggled figure rose from the mire under the feet of the combatants and limped lamely away...
...Why, of course, my dear," answered the mother in a surprised voice...
...Classifying Him St...
...the figure made answer, somewhat pettishly.—New York Evening Post...
...Peter—What was your occupation on earth...
...he's no fit companion for you.—Ex...
...Only On* Little Girl—No, I am sot English...
...To save civilization...
...As It Goes Some nations were lighting fiercely...
...That Explains It One day the five-year-old daughter of the house was looking through a picture book when she suddenly glanced up to her mother...
...The last time I was here, you know, he said it was a dream...
...replied the nations severally...
...Peter—Ice, coal, or gas?—Philadelphia Ledger...
...Sir," said the dignitary, "do you know I am a member of the city council...
...A bright scholar in the rear of the room piped up: "Teacher, what would a man do if he were out of work...
...A man who earned $13 a week and one whose salary was $50 were compelled to show a distinction in the clothes they were wearing and not to go beyond their means...
...New York Times...
...Oh," rejoined the motorist, "that doesn't matter, I can trust you...
...I was born in Prance...
...And who are you...
...While men do go to heaven, they only get there by a very close shave...
...What makes you ask...
...inquired the bystanders, moved at length to curiosity...
...Pathfinder...
...Y.—Yes, altogether too many.—Ex...
...Imaginary Hetty—Oh, Bertha, you must show me that bonnet your husband said he was going to buy for you...
...Spirit—Robber...
...Because," responded the little girl, turning to the book again, "I have never seen any pictures of angels with whiskers...
...Argonaut...
...That's easily accounted for, darling," was the smiling rejoinder of mother...
Vol. 6 • November 1914 • No. 45
