A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two Precocious "Babies talked younger in Bible times than they do now, didn't they, mama?" asked a thoughtful little girl on her return from church. "No, I think not, dear," was mama's...
...Keep on wasting time...
...Hot Time The stage-drivers in Yellowstone park are bothered considerably by the foolish questions asked by their passengers, and often resort to satirical answers...
...a lady was skating here last winter and broke through and got her foot scalded...
...When Luke McLuke wrote it two years ago, it read: "Bad news and bad eggs should be broken gently...
...Fixing up a train of cars with a line of chairs, the youngster told his fond parent that she should be the engineer, while he would impersonate the conductor...
...it was a female egg...
...exclaimed the amazed mother: "Don't let me hear you use such dreadful language again...
...Why, Willie...
...What's the matter there, you redheaded, pie-faced crumb...
...Boston Transcript...
...Cincinnati Enquirer...
...Everybody's...
...Ancient, Medieval, Modern Bad news and ditto eggs had best be broken gently.—Phila...
...Chew the rag...
...Ledger...
...Don't get excited, gentlemen...
...And when we wrote it four years ago, it ran thus: "How do you tell a bad egg...
...I think babies always have begun to talk at about the same age...
...Once a lady tourist who seemed deeply interested in the hot springs inquired: "Driver, do these springs freeze over in winter...
...Oh, yes, yes...
...Not so...
...And, as The Argus remarked away back in 1803: "News dropt to a woman is like a bad egg—everybody will soon know it, broken ever so gently.''—Eastern Argus...
...Babies don't talk now until they're quite big, do they, and the minister read out of the Bible this morning that Job cursed the day he was born'" —Chicago Tribune...
...Why don't you pull out...
...eloquently shouted Willie to the engineer a minute later...
...That's right, you lop-eared galoot...
...Oh, but mama," cried the child, after a period of pensive silence, "it seems as if you must be mistaken...
...If I have anything to tell a bad egg I break it gently...
...You seem to forget that we arc already five minutes late...
...The thing had whiskers when Noah was a boy.—Biddeford Journal...
...Ban on the Car Yard One afternoon it was stormy, and not being able to go outdoors, little Willie suggested to his mother that they play railroad train...
...Just so...
...To this end he put her in the head chair, with her hand on an imaginary throttle, while he, with a Japanese lantern in his hand, stood beside the train...
...No, I think not, dear," was mama's casual answer...
Vol. 6 • May 1914 • No. 22
