A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two H-m-m-m. "Madam," said the %judge sternly, "you must answer the question. What is your age?" "I was born the same year your honor was. That would make me about—" "It isn't necessary...
...On Second Thought Siik—"I think handsome men are dreadfully insipid...
...asked Tommy...
...That would make me about—" "It isn't necessary to go into particulars," interposed the judge stiffly...
...HE—"So do—that is I—er—well...
...Gentlemen, have you any further use for the witness...
...Tell you...
...As Ruthie Viewed It Little Ruth, three . and one-half years old, came home from Sunday school and told her mother of the loss of her locket saying: "It went way up in the sky...
...When asked if she could cook, she replied with simple modesty, "Not very well, but I know that you bake- inside the stove, and boil on the outside...
...Limited Knowledge A youthful and blushing bride reduced the aged grandmother of the man of her choice to a state of collapse last week...
...What are you doing out of it...
...At midnight tho grave-digger duly appeared, and as duly fell into the trench...
...Cornell Widow...
...Sydney Bulletin...
...They dug a trench in a dark spot which their .prospective victim always crossed, and one of them, dressed in a sheet, hid behind a tree...
...Why, you couldn't hit the broad side of a- barn...
...You may stand aside, madam...
...The boy in the sheet at once stepped forth and said in hollow tones: "What are you doing in my grave...
...C. I. * » * No Use to Him "Now, Tommy," reprimanded his mother, "don't let me catch you throwing any more stones...
...he exclaimed in astonishment...
...Knowing of this habit, some boys dec'ded to play a trick upon him...
...Just come and tell me," his mother replied...
...Well, what will I do when the other fellers throw 'em...
...Of course, this meant a story, and the President told it...
...By the President To a diplomat who complimented him upon his sangfroid, President Wilson replied, with his dry smile, that he tried to imitate the grave digger...
...A certain grave-digger, he explained, had the habit of visiting the cemetery every night about midnight to see that all was going well...
...IAppincott's...
...the grave-digger replied calmly.—Ex...
...Jesus grabbed it and won't give it up...
Vol. 6 • May 1914 • No. 21
