Brand USA
Durst, Will
Off the Map Will Durst Brand USA Like the new Pope and the old Pope, Bush claims to be a missionary for the "culture of life." Although when he was governor of Texas, he oversaw the execution of...
...Snap...
...Deal with It...
...Don't thank me, I'm here to help...
...Don't You Wish Everybody Did...
...What are they code-naming this mission, Sisyphus...
...We're Everywhere You Want to Be...
...Then there was President Bush signing the bill making bankruptcy more difficult to qualify for...
...I did enjoy Bush's appointment of Karen Hughes to be his extra special super secret adviser whose mission, should she choose to accept it, is to repair the image of the U.S...
...Sending the message to Americans that if you want the government to bail you out, you'd better be a large corporation...
...Be All We Think You Should Be...
...Badges, We Don't Need No Stinking Badges...
...Crackle...
...Less Torture...
...Friendly Fire "R" Us...
...What's So Bad About Bread and Circuses Anyway...
...overseas, particularly in the Arab world...
...Tastes Great...
...But isn't it nice to know all the wealthy dead will be happier now...
...Don't Leave Home Without It...
...The Republican House cleared the way to permanently eliminate estate taxes on the wealthy dead, even though those monies could make up one quarter to one half of the estimated Social Security shortfall...
...I Can't Believe I Invaded the Whole Peninsula...
...They Don't Call Us the GREAT Satan for Nothing...
...Will Durst is a comic who believes that since Major League Baseball returned to the nation's capital after an absence of thirty-four years, it's about time for scruples, ethics, and a sense of duty to follow suit...
...Aren't You Glad You Use a Free Market Economy...
...Don't Like Us...
...Although when he was governor of Texas, he oversaw the execution of 136 people on Death Row...
...An aircraft carrier group of help...
...Thud...
...This doesn't mean a change in their policy...
...I'd say the Democrats are afraidoftheir own shadow, but I'm not sure they actually cast one these days...
...OK, she's going to need a lot of help...
...When Democracy Reigns, It Pours...
...No, Really...
...So I'm volunteering these snappy slogans, in the interest of patriotism...
...You want to improve America's image, I'll tell you how to improve America's image: Put a leash on Rumsfeld...
...In an attempt to appear less obstinate, House Democrats have decided to quit announcing they refuse to negotiate Bush's plan to privatize Social Security...
...As my daddy always said, "No matter how many ducky feathers you glue to a tank, you're still not going to get invited to swim in many inflated pools...
...America: Just a Big Red White and Blue Teddy Bear with a Whole Lot of Guns...
...Stay in Your Homes...
...America 2.0...
...Gratis...
...But the Spinmeister General is going to need a little help...
...Must be a recent convert...
...It's just from now on, mum's the word...
...Now, that's leadership...
...Hughes takes when she finds out the problem isn't so much our lousy public relations but our lousy foreign policies...
...You Keep the Sand, We'll Take the Oil...
...Then again, you'd have to pull your head outofyour buttinorder to seeashadow, wouldn't you...
...It'll be interesting to see what measures Ms...
...Now with Improved Press Suppression...
...Get in Line...
Vol. 69 • June 2005 • No. 6
