FleeAmerica.com

...How exotic is that...

...Also, we have taken the preemptive move of removing Norway from the list of alternative nations, despite the lovely fiords, smoked fish, and free higher education...

...She is the author of "Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America" and "Blood Rites: Origins and History of the Passions of War...

...As a small, oil-rich country, Norway runs too high a risk of being the neocons' next invasion site...

...and "I didn't vote for Bush" in two or more languages I believe most people can understand English if you speak loudly enough Pouilly Fuiss...

...Of course, some of your friends and family may choose to remain behind...

...France, for example, with its ample coastline and curiously creamy cuisine...

...We'll be back when you've got America, as we knew it, up Barbara Ehrenreich is a columnist for The Progressive...

...The answer is NO, your country has already betrayed you...

...But- as you've probably noticed-the operative images in the world today are Abu Ghraib, Condi Rice, and the flattening of Fallujah...

...You wouldn't want to keepaspouseorajob that you've grown estranged from, and there'snoreason tobe stuck with a nationality that doesn't reflect the REAL you...

...Perversely, these diehards think it's their RESPONSIBILITY to remain in their country of origin just as it becomes an international source of terror and a mockery of democratic governance...

...Maybe you grew up believing America meant bacon cheeseburgers, Martin Luther King, rock 'n' roll, and Saturday afternoon softball...

...media are generally aware of...

...Note: Some of the alternative nations previously offered on this site are no longer available...

...China, with its fascinating blend of runaway capitalism and communist repression...

...Many people write to ask: Am I betraying my country by leaving...

...You're halfway there...

...There are people who take a somewhat inflexible view of "patriotism," just as there are people who never give up on their first, childish, seventh-grade object of infatuation...

...is best served (a) on toast, (b) cold, (c) boiled with mustard Prefer to abstain from communication until I have something nice to say 4. Tastes and values: I was disgusted by the sight of Nicollette Sheridan's naked back in the NFL promotional video I was sorry not to see Nicollette Sheridan's naked front in the NFL promotional video I feel that this scandal, along with Janet Jackson's nipple, has received insufficient media coverage and that, if Scott had known about abortion, Laci would still be alive The food at the Olive Garden is spicy enough for me, thank you 5. Governmental preferences: I enjoy (check all that apply): leadership from within the reality-based community voting on machines manufactured by a major contributor to the Republican Party (Diebold, for example) after waiting four hours in the rain scientific medical care as a supplement to prayer rule of law, any law GREAT...

...It's America that's changed-not you...

...The good news is that there are a lot more countries out there than the U.S...

...Or if you're looking for something REALLY different: Ecuador, Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay, and Venezuela now all have democratically elected leftwing leaders...

...We also say to them: Bravo and hasta la vista...

...Since then, however, Iraq has experienced a steadily worsening shortage of viable physical structures-apartment buildings, hospitals, schools-and we have been forced to withdraw it from the list...

...We'll e-mail you your country match tomorrow...

...To them we say: Can't you take a hint...

...A year and a half ago, shortly after Colin Powell announced that there would be free health care and education in Iraq, FleeAmerica.com heavily promoted that beautiful, ancient, multicultural site, and thousands of Americans applied for relocation to it...

...After all, your nationality is one of the few things you can change WITHOUT SURGERY, simply by filling out the forms below, including your up-to-date passport and credit card numbers...

...Whether out of masochism or misdirected altruism, they feel OBLIGED to stay and straighten things out...

...Would you loiter at a party where gross drunken acts are being performed and, on top of that, people are dissing you everywhere you turn...

...And when you first pledged your allegiance to "one nation under God," you probably didn't realize that God would be delegating much of the day-to-day managerial responsibility to James Dobson and Tom DeLay...

...To help us match you to a country, please answer the following questions: 1. The most surprising thing I learned during the recent Presidential election season was: that most Ohioans and Floridians who voted for Bush were so ashamed of their choice that they lied in the exit polls that John Kerry counterfeited his Vietnam war medals out of Teresa's melted-down jewelry that so few of my red-state neighbors routinely sacrifice sheep and goats as required by the Old Testament 2. My primary reason for re-nationalizing is: eagerness to marry someone of a similar sex desire to escape all references to Sponge Bob need to fill a prescription concern that my children will watch a pornographic film on TV, like Saving Private Ryan 3. Language capabilities (check all that apply): I can say "where are the rest-rooms...