RANDOM NOTES ON A BAD NIGHT
Durst, Will
Off the Map Will Durst Random Notes on a Bad Night If you went to bed .before 4 a.m. Eastern Standard Time on November 3, you are not allowed to call yourself a political junkie. Two words...
...Too close to call...
...The hell was that...
...The final bit of good news: Hillary Clinton in 2008...
...Best Dan Rather lines of election night: "Beat him like a rented mule...
...Four more years...
...So, what have we learned...
...Anybody up for two out of three...
...The final bit of bad news: Hillary Clinton in 2008...
...When Will Durst gets a shitload of incredibly bad news, he responds, "I'm going to Disney World...
...More bad news: three Supreme Court justices...
...If you didn't, time to learn either Spanish or Canadian...
...The exit polls were mostly wrong in states with electronic voting machines...
...They should have tried watching CNN until dawn...
...Best campaign joke: "Every time you vote Republican, God kills a kitten...
...More good news: Senator John Kerry won't have Republican Governor Mitt Romney appoint his successor...
...If you liked the last four years, you're going to LOVE the next four...
...The bad news is: So does Michael Moore...
...Has anybody ever considered that a politician can visit a state too many times...
...I ended up switching between ABC, CBS, and CNN because they were the only ones to refuse to call Ohio for Bush...
...They got tired...
...The good news is: Air America still has a raison d'etre...
...It was reported that Iowa quit counting ballots because some of the counters got tired...
...Don't ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee...
...Don't know whether to wind our watch or bark at the moon...
...And he was leading there when he started...
...Two words everyone in America will learn to despise: provisional ballot...
...Were they that worried about getting the deposit on their folding chairs back...
...No, really...
...But the exit polls were wrong...
...In the 2000 election, only 17 percent of the total vote came from eighteen to twenty-nine-years-olds...
...Bush lost Pennsylvania after forty-four trips...
...Hmmmm...
...It was weird to see the Kerry campaign dismantle party headquarters in Boston's Copley Square before any clear winner was called...
...I was hoping Bush was going to win the popular vote but lose the electoral vote, and how'd you like to be the one having to explain it to him...
...Fun new anagram: TCTC...
...Hotter than a Times Square Rolex...
...But in this election, with all the attendant hype about galvanizing the youth vote, it's estimated a whole 17 percent of the total vote came from eighteen to twenty-nine-years-olds...
...Apparently Republicans have cellphones, too...
Vol. 68 • December 2004 • No. 12
