UNPLUGGED
Clinton, Kate
UNPLUGGED Kate Clinton Don't Worry, Be Set In a study of 2,000 pairs of identical twins, two psychologists at the University of Minnesota have theorized that a "happiness set point" is determined...
...Everyone in the media is thrilled to be hot on the trail of the anonymous author of Primary Colors, but when the truth comes out, reporters clear their deep throats and protest that a journalist has lied...
...Vaseline-on-the-lens...
...Bill Clinton, always attentive to his set point, has resigned as President to become the Official Feeler of Our Pain...
...But since P and F were never able to duplicate their results, I gradually relaxed...
...And Bob Dole, with a set point frozen below zero, has placed all his chips on Suddenly Susan Molinari, whose verbal gymnastics are supposed to save the GOP if she can just stick her landing at the Republican Games in San Diego...
...Minnesota twins get me too overwrought...
...He read all the briefing books...
...But I'm still steamed about little Janet Evans whining that Michelle Smith from Ireland won gold in her swimming events by taking amphetamines or pulling a Rosie Ruiz and using a jet ski for two lengths of the pool...
...Mercifullv...
...This time, I'm not going to let the Kate "Happy Medium" Clinton is a humorist...
...To restore its happiness set point, the American public was fed the Olympics in Atlanta, the Xenophobia Games, the Republic of Reebok versus The Nation of Nike...
...But I wonder: Is there a national happiness set point...
...It was the only sane thing to do...
...was re-released, and everyone was happy again...
...Joe Klein protested he didn't realize it would cause such a ruckus...
...The guy was amazing...
...Maybe instead of Anonymous, he should have used the pen name Disingenuous...
...UNPLUGGED Kate Clinton Don't Worry, Be Set In a study of 2,000 pairs of identical twins, two psychologists at the University of Minnesota have theorized that a "happiness set point" is determined genetically and randomly, without relation to education, income, professional achievement, or marital status...
...Hallmawkish...
...I'm nervous...
...John Tesh finished his psychobabbling...
...For a while there, I was carefully monitoring the steeping of sun tea in my kitchen...
...Alan Greenspan, a guy I did not elect, mumbled before Congress, which did not make me any more secure...
...They postulate that events as different as losing a loved one, or getting a promotion, can affect people's basic moods for three to six months...
...Meantime, economists had their happiness set points bouncing all over the place, as the stock market rocketed up and down...
...I recall Pons and Fleischman, those cold-fusion physicists with names reminiscent of face cream and margarine, who used ordinary household items and tap water for their discovery...
...up-close-and-personal gymnastics coverage and returned to his live [sic] concert tour...
...Bob "Super Prude" Costas—whom I haven't liked since he got all snarky about Denise Rodman, the first transvestite in an NBA finals—presided over and over the festivities...
...Then they return to their usual emotional fulcrum...
...Pinocchio, the story of a lying little boy and a man who loved him...
...He could, and did, tell us everything...
...Just in time...
...When our midges of gymnastics won a gold medal with unnecessary heroics, that really got us back on track...
...Oddly enough, I am not panicked...
...If that set point is also shown to be unaffected by attendance at comedy concerts, I might be downsized by two guys from Minnesota...
...I believe he was protecting his sources: himself...
Vol. 60 • September 1996 • No. 9
