UNPLUGGED
Clinton, Kate
UNPLUGGED Kate Clinton The Lull Before the Lull So the Southern Baptists are boycotting the Nation of Disney because it offers health benefits to employees and their partners. There's time...
...The beachhead of each weekend is attacked by wave after wave of tedious assaults—Mission Impossible, The Rock {Mission Impossible with a story line...
...The flare-up from Bob Woodward's choice revelations that Hillary conversed with famous dead leaders was fast and furious...
...Sidebar: After thirty-one churches were burned, the Justice Department took notice...
...Lately, though, I've been thinking I can't blame my lethargy entirely on the weather...
...The Cable Guy, Eraser, Independence Day (a movie about aliens taking over the White House, a GOP theme...
...The blockbuster-movie phenom seems more deadening this summer than ever...
...Collect them all...
...You would have thought Hillary had been chatting up Eva Braun...
...fan and sip a tall, sweating Julep...
...The GOP is offering more lackluster than blockbuster with Welcome to the Dole House...
...You'd hate to spend time helping to rebuild burned-out Southern churches...
...Happened when the bonfire Al D'Amato was stoking for Hillary got out of hand...
...Striptease—Demi Moore running the gamut of emotions from A to double D. But each weekend's movie is cartoonish with special effects and product tie-ins, from big-gulp cups to happy-meal action figures...
...Boycott Disney...
...It's not how good the movie was, but how much it grossed...
...But nothing seems to stick to his Teflon skin...
...There's time well-spent...
...The zero summertime game in politics is like the lull before the lull...
...There are going to be some mighty disappointed Southern Baptist Mouseketeers this summer...
...See Citizen Bob in the funny hat, ditching his teleprompter, hawking his book, harrumphing that smoking is not addictive and secondhand smoke isn't as bad as one-and-a-half glasses of milk per day...
...Body counts, not reviews, are how success is measured...
...I don't do well during those crazy, lazy, hazy days of summer...
...With calls for teen curfews, police-state verite, Clinton is blithely paving the way for fascism in the year 2000, or perhaps 1900 again if someone doesn't fix that millennial computer glitch pretty soon...
...The gumshoes began to suspect that the fires were racially motivated and perhaps not set by self-hating African Americans as they had first suspected...
...It's not just the Bob Doledrums...
...Too bad Tammy and Jim's Themepark and Holy Water fun village shut down a while back...
...No, I think it's a combination of blockbuster-movie overload, summer politics, and a personal unwillingness to use a guru or Ouija board to contact famous dead people...
...And now Southern Baptists can't go to Ontari-ari-ari-o, either, since Canada also approved partner benefits...
...Larry King has been talking with dead people for years and nobody gets upset with him...
...I mostly want to lie down naked on cool tiles in front of a big Kate "Martha Mitchell talks through me" Clinton is a humorist...
...That blaze on the roof of the Federal Building...
...There are variations: The Hunchback of Notre Dame—try to picture Charles Law-ton as huggable...
...I pray for the crisp clarity of fall and the swift return of knee socks...
...Where I come from, talking with famous dead people is known as praying...
...He's getting eighty-five cents of every tobacco-lobby dollar—that can be addictive...
...After they established that Clarence Thomas had an alibi...
...Molly Ivins is on vacation...
...It all deflects to his wife, a walking hunk of Vel-cro...
...Who knew that the side effect of all these same-sex benefits would be a viable containment policy against the spread of Southern Baptist fundamentalism...
Vol. 60 • August 1996 • No. 8
