SMALL FAVORS
Ivins, Molly
SMALL FAVORS Molly Ivins Training Dole to Smile Don't start mourning yet, the fun's not over. True, it has been a festive season for Democrats as the Republicans adopted the D's popular old...
...Meanwhile, Newt and the Newtzis continue on their merry way...
...But my boy Buchanan soldiers bravely on toward San Diego: wheel Looks as though H. Ross Perot will jump in again— he's good at that...
...Or, "No...
...And consider Bob Dole, Uriah Heep as undertaker...
...Jeremy Rifkin, one of our more thoughtful citizens, has put forth some useful ideas in his book The End of Work...
...Because so much of the work in the civil sector has traditionally been done by women on a volunteer basis, it is hor-rendously undervalued (a case of the chicken or the egg...
...As we segue into an economy that needs fewer and fewer workers, Rifkin recommends a shorter work week (thirty hours) with full pay and benefits...
...Dole later recanted this stand and took refuge in perfect obfuscation...
...personally...
...Putting monetary value on helping one another, and giving parents more time with their children, could carry us a good way toward real civility...
...True, it has been a festive season for Democrats as the Republicans adopted the D's popular old circular firing-squad formation...
...It's so awful...
...Then all the candidates took turns Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star- Telegram...
...Ralph Nader could be on the ballot in twelve states...
...Alan Keyes added a touch of the surreal...
...Just what the country needs—more assault weapons...
...Taylor used to answer questions during debates by saying, "Yes...
...You may have noticed a certain dearth of concern for those of the feminine persuasion this year...
...What glorious material: Steve Forbes, who was manufactured by the same people who make Chatty Cathy dolls, was revealed to have a battery panel in his back...
...I could never get anyone interested in that nice Morry Taylor, the tire guy...
...The nonprofit sector already provides 10 percent of American jobs, and it has escaped no one's notice that the country is becoming un-gestucken in some critical ways...
...Quelle novel thought...
...Decent Dick Lugar didn't get any traction...
...Then both recommend tax breaks for corporations that treat their employees decently...
...It used to be thought that treating one's employees decently paid for itself, but apparently not as much as shafting them now does...
...Maybe Buchanan will bolt the party and marry Perot...
...For that alone, he should have been elected President...
...Lamar Alexander proved that Dead Men Do Wear Plaid...
...Just think, a man of few words...
...In fact, so far, we've only come up twice, both times in the South Carolina primary debate...
...He further suggests we start paying for the formation of social capital: that is, the civil sector that keeps society glued together...
...We now get to watch some of the finest minds of our time, not to mention some of the most expensive, try to convince us that Bob Dole is warm and fuzzy...
...Not the Year of the Woman so far...
...We learned that if either Dole or Buchanan is elected, women who are raped ("by a horrible criminal," specified the questioner) will be forced by law to bear the offspring of same...
...Assuming we are sliding gracefully from the Industrial to the Information Age here, with just a few bumps during the passage, both Kennedy and Robert Reich suggest we could smooth things out by starting with a higher minimum wage...
...The man whose response to the State of the Union address brought to mind the words, "Somewhere in Transylvania, there is an empty grave...
...Here's to another minority President...
...Brought to you by Newt Gingrich, last year's political genius...
...1 think his resemblance to Howdy-Doody did him in...
...You notice they've already trained him to smile more, poor man...
...Just in case you thought nobody in what we laughingly call public service has a clue as to what is going on in this country, Ted Kennedy has actually offered a package of bills to help us through what we hope is "a transitional economy...
...Maybe we should build some disincentives into the structure as well...
...Cute, cuddly-like-a-Teddy-Bear Dole...
...The theory is that we need to "build incentives into the structure...
...dumping on Shannon Faulkner, who, having survived one week at the Citadel, now has more military experience than three of the four candidates in that debate...
Vol. 60 • May 1996 • No. 5
