UNPLUGGED
Clinton, Kate
UNPLUGGED Kale C 'Union Rear-View Telescopes Next year, could we please put Dick Vitale, that hyperactive barker of basketball, on Pio/ac'.' I don't think I can stand one more March of Madness,...
...Next year, we'll probably have to be all atwitter about The Birdcage, which makes me sad...
...The Apocalypse Pretty Soon School, delayed one hour...
...mad this March...
...Buchanan in the pitchfork throw...
...I have been able to identify: black BIC pen tops...
...Delberl Coles of Ipswich...
...Of course...
...Old Al was most shocked not at the discovery of the records, but rather that Mrs...
...So I've been training my telescope, squinting into the night sky...
...Except that instead of eliminating, we seem to be adding...
...The All Cio'd's Children Oot Wings School, closed...
...Not a lesbian in the whole movie...
...and so far in the heart of the lost matter of the universe...
...lesced matter from the universal big bang, scientists are already labeling things: White Dwarfs (Perot again0...
...I had to break free because I could not bear to read all the local school closings, which ran like ticker tape along the bottom of the screen...
...Weakly Interactive Massive Particles (WIMPs...
...and Massive Coalesced Halo Objects (MA-CHOs...
...I swear, if there were coiners in the universe, scientists would be pissing in them right now...
...They arc in a majoi prc-Olvmpic panic mode...
...And Atlanta is no place to have a lever these days...
...My new telescope helps...
...I pay attention to these things because of the Heisenberg principle, which basically says that scientists find what they are looking for—think Bell Curve...
...I also had a fever from a flu I caught from a kid in a Valujet from Boston to Atlanta...
...I should be wearing a Star Trek outfit...
...and those billing records of the Rose law firm...
...If they can just gel (he roof of the natatorium not to fall in again...
...Dole in the marathon...
...The underground tunnel will remain closed...
...I am from Syracuse...
...In addition to the NCAA road lo the Final Four, there was the now-less-fevered march to the White House Final One...
...This is helpful when your significant other says, LT need my space...
...Massachusetts, would like lo announce to her three children thai her home-schooling classes tire canceled lor lodas only...
...keys, a wallet my sister lost in 19X5...
...I'm sure of it...
...Scientists have discovered that the universe is much larger than they thought...
...It's quite an exciting time out there...
...New York, home of the Orangemen, so it was especially mad...
...Did I already mention March's Oscar fever'!' I can...
...And Alphonse D'Amato should be wearing an Alt' outfit...
...But does national economic insecurity make people long lor those heartwarming, old-time homosexuals'.' They updated the rightwing Senator, and not another gay thing...
...You don't need to look at the weather channel to know which way the wind blows, but i( sure is like a New Age fireplace...
...The primary elimination tournament continued Tuesday to Tuesday...
...In uncoakate "Go Big Orange" Clinton is now a humorist...
...stand it...
...Actually...
...One of the cool features of mv new telescope is that it has a rear-view mirror that allows me lo see worldwide weather patterns and has enabled me to break a tragic dependence on Joanetta Jones at the weather channel...
...Atlantans seem most panicked that they not look like a bunch of hicks to the rest of the world...
...Suggestion: Next time around, combine the Presidential election with the Olympics...
...The Homosexuals Must Die Middle School, closed...
...The John Doe #2 Brigade School, closed...
...And mv favorite: Mrs...
...UNPLUGGED Kale C 'Union Rear-View Telescopes Next year, could we please put Dick Vitale, that hyperactive barker of basketball, on Pio/ac'.' I don't think I can stand one more March of Madness, baby...
...Unlike public schools, those Christian schools were always the first to close: The New Day Dav School, closed...
...I had no idea there were so many private religious schools...
...I could have rented out my luggage as an efficiency apartment for $20.01)1') a week...
...Could be my hormones...
...I'm trying to take the long view...
...All in red-and-black flannel uniforms...
...I predict they will do fine...
...If it had arrived...
...Hubcr had not shredded them...
...A comet has been hanging off the handle of the Big Dipper like a piece of fuzzy schmutz...
...With Ross Perot, it's as if Texas S&M all of a sudden declared itself one of the Final Four...
...Clinton in the backstroke...
Vol. 60 • May 1996 • No. 5
