UNPLUGGED
Clinton, Kate
UNPLUGGED Kate Clinton Comebacks and Predictions Imust confess that I am a little disappointed that I was, yet again, not named to the People magazine list of the twenty-five most intriguing...
...He will return to Oregon, goon an all-women's Outward Bound weekend, and vanish forever...
...Talk about challenges...
...Expect big sales...
...His not-so-secret Southern Strategy, now almost thirty years into implementation, has triumphed, with Prime Minister Newt Gingrich shepherding the herds...
...citing the most important people and events of the past twelve months, and predicting the trends for the next...
...Not for nothing did I deserve to be on that list...
...And I mean no insult to shepherds...
...Saves time come October when you need to find some scary Halloween mask...
...So much for leading economic indicators...
...Ever since somebody ran a big old Zamboni down the infobahn, everything equals everything else, and all the magazine lists sound the same...
...Things to watch out for in 1996: Anna Deveare Smith will premiere her one-woman show, "Really Twilight Los Angeles," with 176 voices from the O.J...
...It will be called Tired: A MagaziM for the 2Jst Century Woman...
...Kudos to her Katos...
...Reborn, she was last seen playing touch football and dealing with her big Irish trust issues...
...A new magazine combining the best features of Parenting, New Woman, Gooi Housekeeping, Personal Health, and Money Magazine will debut in early summer...
...No, it meant the state of Delaware just got laid off...
...Make that a lot disappointed...
...Babe the pig made it, but not moi...
...Well, at this magazine, we have our priorities throughout the year: justice, peace, love, valor, compassion...
...The pictures also revealed a partially covered Dan Rather Was Here sign, and tiny Archer Daniels Midland flags, emblazoned with the slogan ADM: Supermarket to the Gods, staking out new territory for agribusiness...
...Charles Murray, drag name "Belle Curve," was invited to give the liberal fest more balance—just what we needed...
...What a year...
...That was his idea...
...I did like Newt being named Time magazine's "Man of the Year...
...consulting firm, "What Color is Your Parachute and May I Touch It?," will go bankrupt...
...In all the archives, there is only one film clip of Pat smoking...
...I pitied the actress who had to play Pat Nixon...
...Bill Clinton, who made People's top twenty-five, went to another of those yuppie Renaissance Weekends...
...Pictures from Jupiter revealed it to be an even bigger ball of gas than previously thought...
...Even though a ruddy cowgirl in Helena, Montana, screamed, "You big old lesbian sow" at me during the Big Sky Country Gay Pride March...
...By the way, I hear that Tricia and Julie got free movie passes, but had to pay for their own popcorn...
...At year end, magazines like People suffer episodes of compulsive list-making, a.k.a...
...Bigger than Rush Limbaugh and Bob Dornan combined...
...I foresaw gallons of water gushing from Jim's upper lip, a big "Well, all righty then...
...No matter how good Hopkins was, he could not compete at try-outs with Carrey doing a full-body arms-extended-over-the-head victory sign...
...Her Rosa Lopez will break yow heart...
...trial: the jurors, the media, the streel reactions...
...Newt Gingrich will be jailed under tte old Aliens and Sedition Acts for trying to destroy the government...
...Good news...
...and off to the Watergate break-in...
...Bob Hope will sue Jay Leno for entertaining the troops in Italy...
...So here goes...
...and discovered that she really liked hugs...
...The Dow Jones broke 5,000, occasioning breathy news-anchor excitement and runaway joy on the Louis Rukeyser show...
...We don't stoop to such gimmicks...
...Maureen "The Mean" Dowd went undercover as a caring person Kate "World Peace Through Bowl Games" Clinton is a comedian...
...Nixon's biggest comeback, however, was not winning over Oliver Stone but winning over the Congress...
...Bob Packwood's Washington, D.C...
...Nixon made another comeback, played by Anthony Hopkins because Jim Carrey was not available as he was filming the sequel, Dumber and Dumbest...
...Too bad...
...Her sidebars will blow you away...
...davidlettermania...
...UNPLUGGED Kate Clinton Comebacks and Predictions Imust confess that I am a little disappointed that I was, yet again, not named to the People magazine list of the twenty-five most intriguing individuals of 1995...
Vol. 60 • February 1996 • No. 2
