A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two In the Same B-b-b-b-boat Three strangers were in the Pullman smoker, when one of them turned to another and asked: "H-how f-f-f-far is it t-t-to P-P-P-Pittsburgh?" The man...
...Well, you go on then," said the first man, resuming his seat.—Boston Transcript...
...Bit Fairly Deep A small negre boy stood by the side of the road near a river, standing on one foot, holding his head on one side and pounding the top of it with his hand...
...To think I'd forgotten...
...He Haw" A lecturer was annoyed by a man in the audience who insisted on rising and asking Questions...
...There seem to be plenty of asses about to-night," put in the lecturer calmly...
...He rose and began: "You have been giving your attention so far to a turkey stuffed with sage...
...inquired the traveler...
...Vice Versa At a Christmas dinner in Washington a statesman was called upon after the meal to make a speech...
...Watah in man eah," grinned the boy...
...Yes," responded the witty judge, "but there were no olives on it...
...You are now about to give your attention to a sage stuffed with turkey...
...Ex...
...N-n-n-othing, please, sir," stammered Johnny, "only j-j-j-ust t-t-t-rying to t-t-t-each your d-d-d-og to stand on his h-h-h-ind l-l-l-egs...
...What's the matter...
...The man addressed made no reply, but got up and left the car...
...Fruitless "Hey, there, you young scamp...
...I ain't been er swimmin'," the boy denied...
...No Inducements The learned counsel was endeavoring to impress the court with the fact that his clients had always been anxious to settle...
...what are you doing up there in my tree...
...but for heaven's sake let us hear one at a time...
...How'd you get water in your ear, then...
...After a few moments he strolled up to the negro and dealt him a blow, saying: "Give the saw to the little fellow if he wants it...
...I've done the self same thing many a time when I've been in swimming and got water in my ears...
...My lord," he said, impressively, "only eighteen months ago we held out the olive branch...
...Why did you go out without answering, when that man asked you a civil question...
...The stutterer then turned to the third man, who gave him the information...
...A pugilistic Irishman stopped to watch the operation...
...Punished the Bully A large, husky negro and a small Frenchman were sawing a large piece of timber for the Boston subway with a heavy crosscut saw, each in turn pulling it back and forth...
...Ah been eatin' watermillion," was the reply.—Ex...
...Well, well, I declare...
...said the traveling man...
...said a second man, jumping up...
...D-D-Do you think I w-w-wanted to g-g-g-get m-my head knocked off...
...was the answer.—Ladies' Home Journal...
...Bit down, you ass...
...Sit down you, too," cried a third man...
...you are both asses...
...Harper's...
...San Francisco Star...
...A few minutes afterward the third man met the one who had left the car and said: "See here...
...said the farmer suddenly appearing after his dog bad caught little Johnny up in the apple tree...
Vol. 5 • February 1913 • No. 5
