A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two Hit It POLLY (to big sister's admirer)— "Guess what father said about you last night." Adolphus—"Oh, I couldn't guess, weally." Polly—"I'll give you a peach if you can...
...Polly—"Urr—you was listening...
...growled the dentist...
...Nothing to Scare Him "Is your horse afraid of an automobile...
...At last, after half a hour's furious racing, they slowed up and Smith poked his head out of the car...
...No Wonder The new baby had proved itself the possessor of extraordinary lung powers...
...Pathfinder...
...Are we nearly there...
...The struggling young author made haste to sign...
...asked the wife of a Washington dentist who had been to collect a bill for a set of false eeth that he had made for a man almost a year before...
...People will think you are crazy, jumping spasmodically about as you are doing...
...The New Dances Jokus—What on earth is the matter with you Hokus...
...You have not told me yet"— Pathfinder, * * * An Opportunity at Last The busybody was circulating a petition calling upon the powers that be to abolish something or other...
...Adolphus (flustered)—"Oh, Polly, I haven't an idea in the world...
...Washington Star...
...Johnny was silent for a minute, and then he went on: "I say, ma...
...This may be one of them...
...Oh, I don't know," said the struggling young author...
...All the Same to the Driver "Drive like the dickens," shouted Smith, springing into a taxi...
...One day baby's brother, little Johnny, said to his mother: "Ma, little brother came from Heaven, didn't he...
...Sydney Bulletin...
...He don't know anything about how much it costs to run one...
...Yes, dear," answered the mother...
...he asked breathlessly...
...Polly—"I'll give you a peach if you can guess...
...Life...
...Pay me...
...Hokus—Why, I'm going to a party tonight and I am just practising the new "bee-sting quickstep...
...I don't blame the angels for slinging him out, do you...
...What does it mean...
...Effrontery "Well, did he pay you...
...Judge...
...but I couldn't resist the temptation to see my name signed to something that will appear in print...
...asked a friend...
...What's it all about...
...It will be presented at the next meeting," he said, "and a copy of it will be printed in all the papers...
...The chauffeur turned in his seat and shouted: "Where do you want to go, sir...
...Well," says the host, "you never can tell...
...Not only did he refuse to pay me, but he actually had the effrontery to gnash my own teeth at me...
...No," replied Farmer Corntossel...
...It Might Hare Been "Ah," says the guest, "how I wish I could sit down to a Thanksgiving dinner with one of those turkeys we raised on the farm when I was a boy, as the central figure...
...What is it, Johnny...
...why should he be...
...With a lurch the car went forward, and away they went like lightning through the gathering fog...
Vol. 5 • December 1913 • No. 52
