A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two His Favorite Flour McMasters was walking with a beau-tiful girl in a wild New England wood. "What is your favorite flower, Mr. McMasters?" the girl asked softly. McMasters thought...
...Why, just think...
...Gableigh—We have such dear neighbors, and they are so fond of us...
...Well, answer them evasively on postal cards, and encourage them to write again...
...Used to It Officer—Now, you git out o' here, young lady, or you'll land in the work-house...
...Oriental Review...
...Washington Star, • * * Profitable Begging "Mr...
...When I told them we wanted to move but couldn't afford to, they offered to pay all our moving expenses.—Ex...
...This is what he got from Johnny: "Whatsoever a man sews always rips...
...For some time Sandy would give no reason for the refusal, but he could not stand the old lady off, so finally he told her with some hesitation: "Weel, ye see, Janet, I dinna aye like to be acceptin' ither folks' civilities when I niver hae anything o' the kin' to offer in return...
...Couldn't Reciprocate A Scottish farmer was asked to the funeral of a neighbor's wife, and as he had attended the funeral of both of her predecessors, his own wife was rather surprised when he informed her that he had declined the invitation...
...Mother—It is a place where nothing grows...
...Johnny repeated it after his father several times and seemed to have mastered the correct wording...
...As they drew near the Sunday-school the father gave Johnny his last rehearsal...
...Next day in school the small boy was asked what was a desert...
...Papa's head," came the immediate reply...
...Obeyed Orders Mistress—What are those eggshells in the frosting for, Norah...
...Norah:—Sure, mum, you told me to use the whites of the eggs.—Ex...
...Advertising Himself The oriental capacity for using our mother tongue with strange twists of unconscious humor is well known, but few examples are equal to this delicious sign on a Japanese baker's shop: "A...
...Now, son," he said, "let's have the Golden Text once more without any help from me...
...Scribble," called out the old millionaire, "I see we received one hundred and fifty begging letters yesterday...
...Harper's Bazar...
...and every one had a two-cent stamp enclosed for a reply...
...The Golden Text Father was walking to Sunday-school with little Johnny and endeavoring to improve the time by teaching Johnny his Golden Text, the words of which were: "Whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap...
...Yes", sir...
...A Broad Definition Small Boy—Say, mother, what is a desert...
...McMasters thought a moment, then cleared his throat and answered: "Well, I believe I like the whole wheat best...
...So Disinterested Mrs...
...Karinura, Biggest Loafer in Tokyo...
...Striker—I ain't afraid of the work-louse—I've been in a workhouse ever since I started to work!—The Masses...
Vol. 5 • May 1913 • No. 19
