A SMILE OR TWO
A Smile or Two Impertinent Postscript Chollie—The idea of a man sending a business letter with a P. S. Chappie — Doosid bad form, I'm shuah. Chollie—But that isn't the worst of it. In this case...
...Record Herald...
...Two Heads...
...Dugan in the hall and said, "Them Tarks is killin' Christians an' draggin' thim through the strates...
...asked her mother...
...I niver see nothin...
...You don't tell me," exclaimed Mrs...
...Every two or three minutes, when one of my callers is here, he chirps out, 'Sit closer, please.' It is too embarrassing for anything...
...Whoever heard of an animal with two heads...
...Embarrassing "Mother," said an exasperated young lady, "I wish you would not hang that old parrot up in the parlor...
...Soapy Sam—Madam, it is the precincts of uncommon luvliness wot makes me look so 'orrible...
...Glasgow Scotsman...
...I meant that ane for the kirk plate...
...That's the wurrst of livin' in the rear...
...Dugan occupied rooms in the rear of the building...
...Tony's conclusion was this: "De olda fox he say: 'Da grape no good, anyhow...
...Thirteen Tails A woman went shopping for furs...
...Why, I think he must have belonged to a trolley-car conductor before you bought him...
...Selected...
...She came home with a handsome sable scarf and remarked to her sister, who was admiring the purchase: "That stupid salesman tried to get me to buy a fur with two heads...
...alla sour...
...Lady—Jane, give this poor man something to eat.—Sidney Bulletin...
...Brophy met Mrs...
...then a smile of amusement lit up her face...
...Pathfinder...
...Knew How to Work It Lady—You are the worst-looking tramp I ever saw...
...Tut, tut," exclaimed the lady, "that's rale stupid o' me...
...Brophy lived in front of the tenement house and Mrs...
...Dugan...
...Yes," she remarked, "you didn't buy a fur with two heads, but you bought one with thirteen tails...
...A Bad Penny An old lady on her way to church the other Sunday tendered her tram conductor a penny for her fare...
...I cannot tolerate the unnatural in anything...
...I guess I go geta de banan.'"—Boston Transcript...
...In this case it means "Please Settle...
...Excuse me, ma'am," said he, after a pause, "but that is a bad penny...
...Arriving home from school, he repeated it in his excited, broken English to the family, following the teacher's version pretty closely until he reached the climax...
...Missed All the Sights Mrs...
...Sequel to an Old Fable Young Tony of the Italian quarter had been greatly interested by the teacher's story of the fox and the grapes...
...Her sister looked critically at the scarf...
...Why not, my dear...
...London Fan...
Vol. 5 • May 1913 • No. 18
