WHAT DO I KNOW
Feldman, Michael
WHAT DO I KNOW! Michael Feldman The Iowa Carcasses Just back from Iowa where the locals are referring to the caucuses as the carcasses since the same old ones keep getting dragged out. With some...
...Running his campaign hard to the right on instructions channeled from Richard Nixon, Dole the Avenger has yet to appear...
...Lamar Alexander: While generally well-received, Alexander carries a problem not of his making: most Americans outside the South confuse "Lamar" with the form between "lame" and "lamest...
...Pete Wilson: Widely regarded as Bush-Lite, as if it were possible, Wilson's courageous stand against immigration (domestic help aside) and affirmative action threatens to make the world safe again for white construction companies...
...The lack of enthusiasm for Gramm indicates he could have been right—he may be too ugly to be President...
...Buchanan thinks his time has come...
...Who will prove to be Kincaid and who will be burning their covered bridges behind them...
...It's fair to say, after defending the Swine Institute, farm subsidies, and Medicare, most of the hopefuls will be deemed hopeless and not walk off with the heart of Francesca Johnson...
...Suspicions linger of the former Texas Democrat who could backslide—"Debbie Does the Great Society...
...He has, nonetheless, gotten a good response in Iowa and may want to think about retiring on a few acres around Newton...
...Refuses to say which party he belongs to, although surprisingly few Democrats have referred to Reagan as a "genius...
...A possible number two in Iowa, although many still think he's number two anywhere...
...Personality is apparently sold separately...
...Bob Dornan: Driven as only a combat pilot who's never seen combat could be, Dornan has seized the moral high ground in an attempt to level it...
...look for him to eventually break the leash and go for Gramm's fleshy wattles...
...Downside: as President might throw government contracts his brother-in-law's way...
...Can spell "potatoes...
...Has antique value as the last living Republican moderate: if Scranton were Jewish...
...Alan Keyes: Keyes is seeking to reverse the trend of failed candidates becoming talk-show hosts while proving that being a lunkhead transcends...
...Colin Powell: Highly regarded by the Republican guard (unfortunately in Iraq), General Powell has unquestioned integrity, inasmuch as it has never been questioned...
...Appears strongest in domestic issues, at least according to police reports...
...Dole, Buchanan, Gramm, and Wilson have large operations there, while the coy Newt has sashayed through a la New Hampshire (only hoping for a glimpse of the mythical white boar in lieu of a moose...
...Pat Buchanan: Remembered primarily for giving a convention address so vicious and negative that it set back hate speech a full six months, Buchanan steadfastly refuses to compromise his lack of ideals, seeking the Presidency as a Pit Bully pulpit...
...Newt Gingrich: Danger: if Newt doesn't run now, and doesn't run often enough (and if he puts on only another four or five pounds), he may establish himself as the Ted Kennedy of the right...
...With some starting to get gamey, there's talk of moving the thing up from February...
...Upside: the former Education Secretary neglected to preside over the dismantling of Education, and he has shown a fearless propensity to wedge himself into tiny desks and talk to third graders, boding well for relations with Congress...
...Lugar is running hard on the character issue, going so far as to claim he has one...
...Phil Gramm: Upside: "Debbie Does Quad Cities" never got made...
...Michael Feldman is the executive producer and host of Public Radio International's "Whad'ya Know...
...Arlen Specter: Single-bullet theory now transmuted into the single-vote theory, Specter is trying hard to make up to women after Anita Hill: fat chance...
...revelations that he dresses like Margaret Thatcher around the house could chill his bid...
...Don't know, but let's talk about it anyway: Bob Dole: Dole remains the odds-on favorite in Iowa, which is what you would expect from the man who looks like he might have long ago been the son not pictured in American Gothic...
...Generally speaking, not up to Eisenhower (after all, Hitler's not still in power), but better than Westmoreland...
...Mild demeanor masks surprisingly regressive social attitudes: needs to openly denigrate more...
...Richard Lugar: Pretty savvy in foreign relations for a guy from Indiana...
...Given the large field of Republican hopefuls, the fourteen million hogs on standby should prove barely adequate for photo opportunities for each, although the chronic shortage of Iowans (only three million) means that it may be a struggle to maintain the tradition of each candidate shaking each citizen's hand three times...
...While he could be the George Washington of the militia movement, his Presidential candidacy appears to be dead as a Dornan...
...You're never too old to stake out a moral position, and nobody minds Hollywood being trashed despite the fact that most of its movies are now being made in Iowa...
Vol. 59 • August 1995 • No. 8
