SMALL FAVORS
Ivins, Molly
SMALL FAVORS Molly Ivins The R's and Re-Form Boy, these Republicans in Congress can just re-form up a storm, can't they? Two-to-five years on welfare, and then it's out to get a job, no...
...That Wounded Knee was not a great battle...
...The Aggie Young Republicans sent out a horrified letter to all alums informing them that The Yewn-versty is considering multicultural education...
...Her column appears in this space every month...
...Actually, A&M has been considering this for three years now but not doing anything about it...
...I think you can know all that and still love your country, but perhaps Aggies can't.* Molly Ivins is a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram...
...is spreadin' like a grass fire...
...We figure making it the Unofficial Language will teach just as many new vocabulary words and just as many irregular verbs to non-English speakers among us as making it the Official Language...
...The way the Republicans solve that is by cutting Medicaid, so the sick kids can't get help in any case...
...Minimum wage nets about $680 a month before taxes...
...The head Young Republican said in the letter that A&M was not the same university from which her father graduated in 1958...
...None of our other elected officials had done anything profoundly dumb for a couple of weeks and we were afraid the rest of the country might forget about us...
...I feel confident that sending block grants to the states and allowing them to design their own welfare programs will work out beautifully...
...The growing movement to make English the Unofficial Language of the U.S...
...Well, damn...
...Speaking of Texas, we're awfully proud of Judge Sam Kiser of Amarillo, who achieved his fifteen minutes of fame by telling a bilingual mother that speaking Spanish in the home constitutes child abuse and she could lose custody over it...
...Two-to-five years on welfare, and then it's out to get a job, no education, no skills, no transportation, no child care...
...Infant care runs $500 to $600 a month, child care $400 to $500...
...Naturally, you cut subsidized child care while you're at it because it destroys family values...
...I'm not quite sure what the Young R's at A&M are afraid of learning...
...The reason I'm so confident is because the state of Texas, when last left to its own devices on welfare in the early seventies, provided the munificent sum of $37.50 a month per child...
...But, the Republicans are planning to raise the retirement age to seventy, so dear old granny will still be working herself...
...So Mom will have to leave the kids with dear old granny...
...and besides, it's got more zing...
...That the darkies did not sing for joy on the old plantation...
...Texas Aggies, ever a source of joy to us all, have been contributing their mite of fun...
...That Sam Houston told those fools to get the hell out of the Alamo...
...Not $37.50 a week, $37.50 a month, for food, clothing, and shelter...
...Then you take care of the old problem of how welfare moms go out and get jobs, but as soon as one of the kids gets sick they go back on welfare because they don't have health insurance...
Vol. 59 • November 1995 • No. 11
