SMALL FAVORS
Ivins, Molly
SMALL FAVORS Molly Ivins Bush Leaguer I was just about to celebrate George Bush's long and distinguished career as a raving twit when he up and jumps all over Dan Rather, thus transforming his...
...Next month, Dan Rather's career as a raving twit...
...Did he say that...
...The thought of George Bush, his plane blown apart by Japanese gunfire, hurtling toward the Pacific while he meditates serenely on the separation of church and state—well, come on, admit it, you wouldn't have thought about the separation of church and state...
...He showed up wearing a properly plaid wool shirt—but he had it on under a State Department suit...
...Every time they handed him a baby, it would start screaming as though it had just been stuck with a safety pin...
...When he lost a straw poll in Iowa a few months ago, he blamed it on supporters who were off "at their daughters' coming-out party or teeing up at the golf course for that crucial last round...
...After the meeting broke up, Bush approached the woman, who had a Jack Kemp flier in her hand...
...God knows, he started with enough gifts and talents and advantages, but somehow he seems to become less as he gets older...
...Others hear him on a good day and come away impressed, saying, "This guy has a lot of knowledge and a lot of experience...
...Bush took the flier away from her, tore it into pieces, looked at her, and said, "Fini...
...And I thought it was just another politician refusing to answer questions...
...This comment did not burnish the man's image as a son of the soil...
...Fini...
...Some people listen to him and immediately say, "Preppy dweeb...
...This was just a few days after the debate in which Bush accused Walter Mondale of having said that our Marines in Lebanon "died in shame...
...The Washington Post was driven to describe him as "the Cliff Barnes of American politics—blustering, opportunistic, craven, and hopelessly ineffective all at once...
...My favorite moment in the whole flap came the morning after, when Rather, carried away by the thrill of it all, said he had intended no disrespect, was merely intending to do his job...
...The whole schmeer...
...He got to Green Bay, Wisconsin, and told the crowd how much he liked the Minnesota Vikings...
...Trouble with Bush is, he's a lickspittle even when he has a choice...
...It came as quite a relief for those of us who had been trying to explain how a Texan could behave so much like a Yankee...
...Through it all, George Bush burbled inanely, chirruped cheerfully, and ignored all sins large and small...
...I have the greatest respect for the office of the Vice Presidency," said he...
...Reporters stood there, pencils frozen...
...I have never forgotten his courageous defense of his vote in favor of the 1968 Civil Rights Act...
...Fini...
...Did you hear him say that...
...The stink of corruption from that Administration was the least of it—the arrogance, the contempt for the law, the killing, the despotism—Nixon was probably certifiable by the end...
...to milk a cow in order to demonstrate his concern for the plight of the American farmer...
...Cover of Time...
...Bush was named ambassador to the United Nations by Nixon and then Republican Party chairman in the midst of the Watergate scandal...
...Absolutely untrue, said the Veep, I am not in favor of abortion, I am totally opposed to abortion...
...SMALL FAVORS Molly Ivins Bush Leaguer I was just about to celebrate George Bush's long and distinguished career as a raving twit when he up and jumps all over Dan Rather, thus transforming his image from Tweetie-Bird to Chuck Bronson...
...Quel fromage...
...He is not a lightweight...
...It went on like that all day...
...A clash of titans...
...I thought about Mother and Dad and the strength I got from them...
...rable day of the 1984 campaign...
...He had also forgotten that cows are retromingent, a word one doesn't often get to use...
...Now, you have to understand that all politicians have days when nothing will go right...
...Mondale was furious, and when asked to comment said, "George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize...
...Before the Great Confrontation, Bush had been having some bad days...
...Which was as nothing, of course, compared to the fact that Bush voluntarily renounced his Texas citizenship in 1984, taking a $ 123,000 tax deduction by claiming his real residence is in Kennebunkport, Maine...
...He is one of those people neither time nor circumstance has treated kindly...
...Either he had forgotten how to milk or the cow was a Democrat...
...If I hear Iran-contra, he's gonna hear Miami" (a reference to Rather's famous walkout), Bush is said to have snarled before the big broadcast bout began...
...He didn't need a job...
...Bush then held a ridiculous press conference trying to prove with a dictionary that "in shame" and "in vain" mean the same thing...
...And God and faith, and the separation of church and state...
...Well," replied Bush, "you go back to your fundamental values...
...he said the Marines had died in vain...
...I'm getting worried about the Veeper...
...He just said, "All in all, it's a good law...
...There was hell to pay in his district back in Houston when he came home—screaming, abuse, threats— but he wouldn't apologize, wouldn't back down...
...This one started in Minnesota, where the Veep had to get up at 6 a.m...
...He was a toady, a bootlicker, and a sycophant...
...He used French in Iowa...
...While campaigning in Iowa, he was confronted by a woman who demanded to know why he is in favor of abortion...
...He didn't have to do that...
...Is that right...
...Go back to Watergate and look at his record...
...Bush was in Wisconsin by the time this comment was relayed to him and he was asked to respond...
...There is always a curious duality in reactions to George Bush...
...Then The Wall Street Journal asked him what went through his mind when his plane was shot down in World War II...
...As it happens, that's the last time I can recall Bush doing anything that required courage...
...Mondale had said no such thing...
...On the manhood thing," said the Veep, "I'll put mine up against his any time...
...And then there was the most memoMolly Ivins, a columnist for the Dallas Times Herald, appears in this space every month...
Vol. 52 • March 1988 • No. 3
