A SMILE OR TWO

A Smile or Two The Peacemaker.—Village Grocer— "What are you running for, sonny?" Boy—"I'm tryin' to keep two fellers from fightin.' " Village Grocer—"Who are the fellows?" Boy—"Bill Perkins and...

...When God wants to make an oak He takes a hundred years, but when He wants to make a squash He takes but six months...
...True Economy.—A canny Scot was sitting in the smoking compartment of the train, and, after filling his pipe, he turned to the man on his left and asked: "Hae ye a match...
...The man went through his pockets and said: "I am sorry, but I have not...
...Oh, yes," was the reply...
...London Answers...
...that depends on what you want to make of yourself...
...A Matter of Time.—A student at Ober-lin college one day asked the president "if he could not advantageously take a shorter course than that prescribed in the curriculum...
...Turning to the man on his right, he asked the same question, and after a search this man also said: "I am very sorry, but I have used my last one...
...Puck...
...Little Nell—Oh, just take a hole and sew eye-winkers all 'round it.—Ex...
...Ah, weel," said the thrifty Scot with a sigh, as he reached into his own pocket, "I'll hae ta use one o' my ain...
...Pathfinder...
...Lend them the lawn-mower on the Sabbath...
...Simple.—Little Bess—How do you make button-holes, Nellie...
...Pious.—"Please, mum, the new neighbors want to know if you'll lend them the lawn-mower to-day...
...Boy—"Bill Perkins and me...
...Tell them, Jane, we haven't one.—London Tatler...

Vol. 4 • December 1912 • No. 49


 
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