Emergency Decree of 1 March 1970
Mayer, Milton
Emergency Decree of 1 March 1970 by MILTON MAYER A ny person who shall transport any of the following commodities in interstate commerce, or who shall vend, dispense, or otherwise disseminate to...
...Four-letter word...
...Nuts and bolts...
...Environment (for ecology...
...Environment...
...Input...
...Commitment** (as object of verb to honor...
...to lack of sleep...
...Structure (as verb...
...Power structure...
...Signed) Milton Mayer (For the Directorate) MILTON MAYER has been described as "an apostate journalist, sometime professor, lay theologian, practicing pacifist, student of non-violence, and unmitigated iconoclast...
...Identify (as in trans, verb w. with...
...Likewise, body rhetoric...
...Danish (as sing, noun...
...Ongoing...
...forehead branded with the letters "U.B...
...Thrust** (as noun...
...and upon the third conviction be required to wash his feet...
...Gap** (except to designate an unoccupied space between physical or logical substances...
...upon the second conviction, be stripped of his beads...
...When this offense is committed by a person over thirty (30) years of age, he shall, in addition to the punishment inflicted supra, upon the first conviction be required to be seen driving his 1970 car on January 1, 1971...
...See Ethnic studies...
...If used by Richard M. Nixon, the offender shall be condemned to attend Quaker Meeting for Silent Minority Worship...
...If used with gut level in the same statement, the offender shall have his (Footnotes) *When this offense is committed by a person under thirty (30) years of age, he shall, in addition to the punishment inflicted supra, suffer his hair to be crew-cut...
...Dialogue...
...With it (without antecedent for it...
...Participatory democracy...
...Decision-making process...
...sing, noun...
...Hangup.* High-rise (meaning tall...
...Ambience...
...If used by a Caucasian journalist who five years ago would have said Negro, the offender shall have his typewriter broken over his head...
...ecology (for pollution...
...Cooptation...
...Black studies (by non-Caucasian students...
...Encounter* (as in encounter group...
...Opt...
...for Irrelevant...
...If a person shall be convicted of habitual use of this expression prior to 1968 and of having used nitty-gritty in its place thereafter, he shall have his forehead branded with the letters "U.B...
...Media (except used as a singular noun by Spiro Agnew...
...Upon the first conviction for this offense, the offender, instead of suffering the punishment supra, shall be condemned to spend the rest of his life discussing life styles with U.S...
...Emergency Decree of 1 March 1970 by MILTON MAYER A ny person who shall transport any of the following commodities in interstate commerce, or who shall vend, dispense, or otherwise disseminate to others any one or more of the said commodities, shall be guilty of a felony, to wit, losing the minds and hearts of men, and, upon conviction, except where hereinafter otherwise specified, forfeit his right '.o use the English language for a period of ten years or, if he has not yet reached his thirtieth birthday, until such time as he shall have reached his thirty-first birthday: Alienation...
...Identity crisis...
...Straight (as noun or as adj...
...Quality of life...
...Relate (as act...
...Nitty-gritty...
...for Unsalvageably Banal...
...astronauts...
...Cop-out.* Credibility** (see Gap...
...verb w. to...
...intrans...
...Baby (except to designate an infant) . Ball game (as in a whole new ball game...
...e.g., as in a fun thing...
...Cliff-hanger (except to indicate a person or a thing hanging from a cliff...
...Up tight.* Unmitigated bore...
...Gas* (except to denote a quiddity in a non-liquid, non-solid state...
...Currently he is professor of English at the University of Massachusetts and professor of the humanities at Windham College...
...Interdependent...
...Image (except as reflected by a mirror, water, etc...
...Drag* (as noun...
...If this expression is used in the District of Columbia, the offender shall be deported to Songmy, South Vietnam...
...Relevant...
...Life style.*** Man, The (as used by Blacks, formerly Negroes, to designate Caucasians collectively...
...His most recent paperback, "On Liberty: Man v. the State," has just been published by the Center for the Study of Democratic Institutions...
...Prestigious...
...Sensitivity training (or any other verbal combination involving sensitivity, such as sensitivity group...
...Meaningful...
...Old lady (meaning young lady...
...Confrontation.* Coopt...
...Rap* (meaning talk...
...Fun** (as adj...
...to anything other than the shortest distance between two points on a Euclidean surface...
...Sick (except with reference to an individual organism as medically so certified...
...Put-on* (as noun...
...Ecology (for environment...
...Interpersonal (for personal, as in personal relations...
...Gut level...
...Put-down* (as noun...
...Watershed (except to mean watershed) . Wise (as suffix except in likewise and otherwise...
...and upon the third conviction be compelled to witness the trampling in the dust of his tall white cookout hat...
...Tired (except w. ref...
...upon the second conviction be ordered to smoke marijuana instead of tobacco...
...Rhetoric of contact...
...See Nuts and bolts...
...No-no** (as indef...
...Beautiful* (except to indicate beauty rather than goodness or truth...
...Ethnic studies (by Caucasian professors) . Experiential...
...Black (as noun...
...Upon conviction of having used this term to refer to a phenomenon which is immediate, transitory, and of interest only to the offender and to others of the same benevolent, protective order of ilk, the offender shall have his forehead branded with the letters "U.B...
...for Unmitigated Bore...
Vol. 34 • March 1970 • No. 3
