THE MISHMASH STRATEGY
Serwer, Arnold
The Mishmash Strategy by ARNOLD SERWER /"\nly a handful of top level Repub-^-^ licans—and the noseybody who writes this page—are privy to the fact that there actually is a directing hand behind...
...What does he know...
...You don't think I want the doves to remember it, do you...
...Who's playing cricket...
...That was a fine hard-nosed position...
...So from now to the November elections the GOP's statements on Vietnam will be more of the same old mishmash...
...What about the wide range of positions you spoke of...
...It was deliriously exciting...
...Encourage thinking...
...It is all part of our grand strategy to have our various speakers —and sometimes a single speaker—offer a wide range of conflicting views on Vietnam...
...Johnson is taking over too much of the war...
...How does that help the GOP...
...Doesn't all this confuse the public...
...I remained silent, and the Coordinator of Republican policy on Vietnam went on...
...He had me there...
...Well, after these little ideas of mine had been aired by Nixon and some of our other spokesmen, I got Everett Dirksen to weave back and forth, first commending LBJ's conduct of the war and then saying he wasn't pressing the war hard enough...
...Oh, yes...
...Johnson has now taken the play away from us by bombing both cities...
...I repeated it and Mishmash immediately turned a fiery red...
...For instance, when Dick Nixon was in Vietnam last fall he said the Republicans would make it a campaign issue if President Johnson appeased Hanoi or Peking...
...All these conflicting Republican statements on Vietnam are according to plan...
...Heavens, no...
...I hope some people will remember that Jerry Ford and other Republicans urged such action months ago.-' "Some people...
...It's more like big league baseball where the pitcher throws at the batter's head and the runner spikes the second baseman...
...As he led me to the door he apologized : "You will have to excuse me...
...Anyway, we agree with the President on this point: no parleying with the Vietcong...
...What people...
...Of course not," I said...
...American politics has got nothing to do with cricket...
...What we have been doing, is staking out a wide range of positions...
...Peace before November would be unthinkable...
...After all, as laid clown by the Administration the national slogan is 'Fight Now—Think Later.' " "Why don't the Republicans challenge that slogan...
...I could smell it as I left...
...But didn't Romney also say, weeks ago, that it was odd we were not bombing Haiphong's refineries when we were bombing trucks carrying gasoline to the Vietcong...
...I know exactly what I am doing," he stormed...
...And what do you want the doves to remember...
...He didn't knock on the Vietcong's door," I said...
...It was too...
...That Ford has pointed out that the American people 'will not stand for a long-drawn-out military conflict.' This will come in mighty handy for the GOP to have on the record if the Chinese should enter the war as a result of U. S. bombing of Hanoi and Haiphong...
...Now, where was I?" "You were talking about the GOP's hard-nosed and soft-nosed positions...
...Not really," said Mishmash, "because in wartime logical thinking is rarer than rubies...
...Of course," said the Coordinator, his face slowly returning to its normal color, blue...
...Thus we can scoop in the votes if the war goes badly for LBJ, and if it goes well we can prove that at many critical moments we were more loyal to Johnson's Vietnam policy than were some of the Democrats...
...Mishmash, I soon found out, becomes irate when anyone charges, as columnist Roscoe Drummond recently did, that the GOP has "no clear and coherent" approach to Vietnam...
...We in the GOP have long been hollering for the bombing of Hanoi and the mining of Haiphong harbor...
...Now listen, noseybody," the Coordinator warned me at the outset of my recent interview with him, "don't you start off by repeating what Drummond said or I shall become irate...
...Excluding, of course, any specific proposals to achieve peace...
...We have another GOP statement on Vietnam cooking and I want to make sure it is heavily seasoned with ambiguities...
...The doves should recall, too, that Governor Romney said it was a mistake to get us involved in land war in Asia, and that because we got into the war we're losing some of our friends around the world...
...his name is Roland T. Mishmash, and he runs his mixmaster from an office at Republican National Committee headquarters in Washington...
...The hawks, of course...
...I know what he said," smiled Alish-mash...
...That's real dove talk...
...We feel that it helps us to keep our options open...
...Then a few months later our leaders spoke up for the vigorous pursuit of peace—our soft-nosed stance—during the bombing pause when LBJ was knocking on embassy doors around the world to see who could help bring about a cease-fire...
...Anyway,\' added Mishmash, "isn't there now a pretty big piece of the truth in that label— 'Johnson's war...
...It would wreck the two-party system...
...The Mishmash Strategy by ARNOLD SERWER /"\nly a handful of top level Repub-^-^ licans—and the noseybody who writes this page—are privy to the fact that there actually is a directing hand behind most of the conflicting statements made by GOP leaders about the war in Vietnam...
...The same old mishmash," said Mishmash, "and all according to plan...
...I note that you said, 'if the war goes badly for LBJ.' Representative Ford ties the President even more closely to the war, calling it 'Johnson's war.' Is that cricket...
...It is all according to plan...
...There was one hectic period when Dirksen, the Senate minority leader, was saying one thing, and Gerald Ford, his counterpart in the House, was contradicting him...
...U Thant is a foreigner," said Mishmash...
...U Thant thinks that would open the way to peace...
...This fellow holds the hush-hush post of Coordinator of Republican policy on Vietnam...
...In fact, right now that's what worries us most...
Vol. 30 • August 1966 • No. 8
