VIVE LA RESISTANCE!
Serwer, Arnold
Vive la Resistance by ARNOLD SERWER When a Senate subcommittee ' * brought General Motors to heel for its treatment of Ralph Nader, the automobile safety crusader, we may have turned a dangerous...
...I'll tell you again, Louis," says Barney defiantly, "like I told you and all the other auto dealers before—I've gone the limit...
...The heat against you will be turned off...
...Of course not...
...asks Frances...
...They're stepping things up...
...No more detectives following you...
...How did it go today...
...I didn't want to mention this before," says Frances, "because you're so upset and all, but this morning a door-to-door salesman from Apocalypse Motors stopped by...
...Well, I went into a public phone booth this afternoon to call you...
...A beautiful redhead followed me right into the booth...
...At least, not unless you show sales resistance in the future— three months from now when you're required to buy another new car...
...This morning Jovial Julius called me at the office and warned that if I don't buy a Shark Twelve from him next week, Detroit will send one to the house by air freight C.O.D...
...It was a ruse to keep me in the booth with her while a photographer got a closeup of me crowded in with a redhead...
...Laughing Louis, the Blitz dealer downtown," Barney answers glumly...
...Vive la resistance...
...For with all the industry's vast power there still remain —here and there across the country—a few small pockets of sales resistance...
...I think they've got one of their sound pick-up devices zeroed in on us...
...Today was real bad," says Barney...
...Even General Motors, which is then producing two out of every three new automobiles, is not happy...
...Barney Stubborn picks it up and a voice rasps: "Listen, Stubborn, we're giving you just three more days to buy a Blitz Twelve with the standard 700-horse-power engine and the chrome-trimmed, high-speed passenger ejector seats...
...Pick up a Blitz in three days, or else, he says...
...I will not buy a new car, now or ever...
...With only a three-car garage, you must be," Louis says, "but never mind that...
...He was very gentle, Barney...
...Yes, Barney, of course...
...As we invade their privacy (what little is left of it) just before dinner, Barney is sitting on the sofa in his living room, staring at the drink in his hand...
...Goodbye, you sales-resisting fink...
...No more bugging the phones...
...can show a higher profit each quarter over the preceding quarter if you sales resisters keep holding out...
...He said that if we buy an Apocalypse— even the stripped-down model that comes without the combination boat winch and stump puller—the usual industrywide cease-fire will go into effect...
...Detroit is getting bolder all the time," says Frances...
...No more probes into your past and present...
...That could have been dangerous," says Frances...
...What about the pretty girls, Frances...
...She said she wanted to borrow four dollars in change to call somebody in Detroit...
...Vive la Resistance by ARNOLD SERWER When a Senate subcommittee ' * brought General Motors to heel for its treatment of Ralph Nader, the automobile safety crusader, we may have turned a dangerous corner—on two wheels...
...What did she want...
...Who was that...
...I'll say it was," Barney replies...
...Barney Stubborn's face takes on a sort of Nathan Hale look—noble and defiant...
...If I agree to buy a car now, will Detroit stop persecuting and hounding me with beautiful leggy blondes, lovely brunettes, and spectacular redheads...
...Maybe I'm a Communist," Barney replies...
...You know Detroit's rule—one new car every three months...
...An emboldened industry might have moved ahead to discourage its other critics, not merely harassing those who charge that Detroit builds unsafe cars but the more dangerous dissenters, the culprits who are guilty of the worst offense known to the auto moguls—sales resistance...
...If GM's investigation of Nader, which included putting detectives on his trail, had succeeded in scaring him off, who knows what would have followed...
...Three men followed me today, instead of the usual two...
...And in color, yet...
...Suddenly he marches over to the window, opens it wide, sticks out his head, and shouts into the street: "Now hear this, Detroit...
...I got three cars in the garage now and two parked out in front...
...Up, the rebels...
...It's not their tailing me that bothers me so much—it's the bumping into me when I stop...
...Is it satisfied...
...Just come on down to my place and pick up your Blitz Twelve before we really put the heat on you...
...Now they don't even care if you know just what they're up to...
...That's the third time this month," says Frances, "that they got a shot of you in a compromising situation...
...One of these pockets is Barney Stubborn who lives with his wife, Frances, in a suburb of Nowhere, Montana...
...The telephone rings...
...How do you think Blitz-Mammoth, Inc...
...Are you trying to cripple the economy, or what...
...One I bought only four months ago and...
...Don't play dumb with me," Louis cuts in coldly...
...And bring on the girls...
...And keep your voice down, Barney...
...She didn't call Detroit," Barney says sheepishly...
...Imagine, then, a time, ten years from now, when the industry is building twenty million cars a year, more than twice the present rate of output...
...He tried to get me to sign up for one of their new Four Horsemen models: we have a choice of Conquest, War, Famine, or Death, in any color except luminous puce or shocking avocado...
...she whispers...
...His wife enters, watches him anxiously for a moment, then sits beside him...
...Did any pretty girls make advances to you...
Vol. 30 • May 1966 • No. 5
