DEEP IN THE HEART
Mayer, Milton
Deep in the Heart by MILTON MAYER Austin, Texas ICAME to Texas to help the White Citizens Councils perpetuate racial segregation. They wrote to me asking me what I could do to help them out, and...
...Just leave me off at the best coffee spot in town...
...A delegation from die Agin-Seggagation Committee met me, including a couple of Methodist lay leaders, a Baptist minister, and an Episcopalian rector...
...Any Northern Liberal could have thought of the technique I suggested...
...Because," said the priest, "you're agin seggagation...
...I wouldn't let her marry any of you gentiles...
...I said...
...You mean it...
...I said, marveling at the instant success of the technique...
...But," he added, "we'll be at the frontih wid uh rope ef'n yo' cross us...
...Sho' do," I said...
...Still," I said, "it's all for the cause of human brotherhood and the salvation of souls from racist sin, so I'm willing to sacrifice myself...
...The priest was mighty glad to welcome me into the fight agin seggagation and wanted to know what he could do for me...
...Sho' did," said several of the Southern Liberals...
...Well," I said, "I sure want a soda after all that talking, and it's after working hours," this with a wink, "so what do you say we go to Earl Abel's and have a soda...
...You should be," I said...
...Wheah yo' live, boss...
...We've got a bed there for you...
...But we are all busy men, up North, campaigning for civil rights legislation, F.E.P.C., and so on...
...I nearly laughed myself sick...
...He handed me my pay-check and said, " 'Til yo' got heah, Brothuh Mayuh, we was sho' nuff worrit...
...Why," I said, "come to think of it, I don't believe there are...
...But talking is one thing, and a good cup of coffee is another...
...Ah'm a swamp rabbit ef Ah'll pay yo' a Wah-b'tween-the-States penny to do that," said the President...
...The Committee was silent, and then they all laughed loudly, Texas fashion, and the Baptist picked up my bag and said, "Let's go, friends...
...Yessuh, boss," said the Nigra...
...Why, no," said the Methodist, "against cullid...
...We cry out to heaven agin it...
...Of course I am," I said, "and I'm here to talk agin it, like the Northern Liberal that I am...
...The coffee was good...
...When in Rome, do as the Romans do,'" I said...
...Yo' jes' about broke dere hahts when dey seen dey din' have no suppoht wheah it counts...
...We thought, all along, that the way to be agin seggagation was to act agin it (preach agin it, too, of course, but one's opportunities to preach are limited...
...There's nothing cullid about me 'cep my necktie," and I laughed loudly, Texas fashion...
...We know," said the Committee...
...The Committee was silent...
...We know this sin in the North, I may add, in the far less deadly form, to be sure, of discrimination...
...Go on," I said, "there must be...
...And I'll talk hard and straight, in the Northern Liberal tradition of hard and straight talk...
...But, gentlemen," I went on, "I would not have you misunderstand me...
...A-men," said the Comittee, and the Baptist said, "Brother Mayer, my little house isn't much, and there's no running water, and the children are noisy, but there's a bed in it and you're welcome...
...Hain't dat feh...
...We doan 'How no cross in Texas 'cep fer votin...
...They wrote to me asking me what I could do to help them out, and when I told them, they told me to come on along...
...Brother Mayer," said the rector, after a long, painful pause, "do you mean, in earnestness, that you would go into a seggagated hotel...
...But you can't," said the Methodist, "they're seggagated...
...Best soda in town, but you wouldn't want to go there...
...Surely, you wouldn't go into a seggagated restaurant, would you...
...Christian brethren," I went on, "the right to sleep is given man by God, no less...
...I said...
...Well, yes," said the Southern Liberal, "and you sure were hell on seggagation in that speech tonight...
...We gnash our teeth and wail and weep...
...Welcome to Dallas," said the rector, "and," he added, giving me the Episcopal handshake, "let me tell you, Brother Mayer, on behalf of our struggling little Agin-Seggagation Committee, how much it means to us to have a Northern Liberal like you come down here to help us...
...I put my technique into action at once...
...We've got an immoral society, and moral men have got to live in it...
...You get there by bus, and the town is a mile off the highway, but they told me at the bus depot that there were always Nigras at the bus stop to carry your bag into town...
...In the meanwhile I intend to surrender myself to the embrace of Morpheus, and, as I am a very busy man (others may say 'important,' but I prefer to regard myself merely as busy about the Lord's business), I shall appreciate it if you will escort me to the best hotel in town...
...I suggested that I come to Texas and talk against segregation...
...We need you badly...
...Made me ashamed, you did...
...I said...
...No Cross, no crown,' as William Penn says...
...First thing I did was land in Houston...
...A cup of coffee's easy," said the priest, "but it won't be the best...
...We invoke God's justice down upon it...
...Sho' do," I said genially...
...Not agin me," I said, "and I want a few hours' shuteye...
...Is there any reason why I shouldn't go to Gulch City...
...Why should I feel funny about going there...
...But first," I said, "I'd like a little shuteye...
...I'd taken the wind out of his sails, all right...
...I was billed to talk agin seggagation, and the man who met me at the airport was a Roman Catholic priest...
...Frankly, Brother Mayer, we counted on great help from our Northern brethren, knowing them to be so liberal in their outlook...
...We have no time to debate whether we shall sleep here or there or somewhere else—a luxury, if I may say so, of the lazy...
...It's hard going, you know, this talk, talk, talk...
...To Cahmel, boss...
...What am I going to do...
...Nigra," I said "I'm agin seggagation...
...You Nigras ought to move North, that's what I say...
...Our principles, in the North, are solidly Liberal...
...We're few, you know, and the fight's a little lonely...
...The Catholics have had the jump on desegregation for years— probably just to confuse us Northern Liberals...
...the big ones are somewhat cautious about deseg-gagation, but, of course, they have to be, with so much fine property at stake...
...I'm in need of a good cup of coffee...
...I will not be deprived of it by the Dallas Hotel Association...
...I said, pushing the technique...
...We stand four-square, rock-ribbed, and copper-sheathed against the evil practice of discrimination and the still more evil practice of seggagation...
...I missed the noon bus and caught the four o'clock...
...Well," said the priest, "here it is," and he drew up in front of Mammy's Java, which had a sign showing a Nigra Mammy in a red-and-white checked babooshka...
...Jes' one teeny-weeny minnit, though, they's one mattuh we bettuh cleah hup raht smaht quick, an' that is, would yo' let yo' daughttuh marrih uh Nigra...
...I'm afraid," said the Episcopalian, "that that is what you will have to do, Brother Mayer, in spite of the appearance of inhospitality on our part...
...Hear, hearl" said the Committee...
...Less'n yo' feel funny 'bout goin' dere...
...In San Antone I spoke agin seggagation at a meeting of Southern Liberals, and after the meeting I hankered for a double chocolate ice cream soda...
...How about a hotel...
...Well, then," said I, slapping the Methodist on the back, "I guess I'm in...
...Did I really...
...Dear me," said the priest...
...The President of the White Citizens Council was waiting for me when I got into Austin...
...Why, Brother Mayer," said the Baptist, "to the parish house...
...My dear friends and brethren," I said, putting the technique into high gear, "we in the North are behind you in this struggle to the death against the deadly sin of racial seggagation...
...Cain't go no fudduh," said the Nigra...
...still less will I deny it to myself on the basis of Suthrun sophistry about cullid seggagation...
...No suh," said the Nigra...
...Boss," he said, "you flay me 'live here, dey flay me daid in duh town," and he showed me another sign, halfhidden by the weeds, which said, "Nigra, Doan Let Duh Sun Set on You in Gulch City...
...Don't let the sign mislead you," said the priest...
...Dear me," said the priest, "I am crestfallen...
...Any Nigras there, boss...
...Ah'll carry yo bag ef'n yo want to do dat, boss...
...We hiss at it...
...Listen, Nigra," I said, "I'm a free man...
...There wasn't, they said, any place else...
...Why not...
...And mine is really the best parish that our little group can offer, though it isn't much...
...The Baptist started to say, somewhat mechanically, "Hear, hear," but one of the Methodists jabbed him in the ribs after the first "Hear...
...Do you mean, suh," said the President of the W.C.C., "that you intend to entuh the Republic of Texas fo' the purpose of talkin' agin seggagation...
...No suh," said the Nigra, " 'less'n—" " 'Less'n what...
...Pay later," I said...
...Listen, Padre," I said, "I'm booked to talk agin seggagation, like I said...
...I said...
...Well, Padre," I said to the rector, "I'll talk to you, and that's just what I'm here to do...
...You see, we have pledged ourselves not to go into a seggagated hotel or to send a guest there...
...Jes' leave that tuh me, podnuh," I said, and he allowed, still mystified, as how he would...
...Dat Nawth'n Lib'l talk scheme o' yum was great...
...I suppose I shouldn't brag about my originality...
...This liberty I will not be denied, in any hotel in America, the cradle of liberty...
...Why, you good-for-nothing old Nigra, you," I said, "you set that bag down and I'll flay you alive...
...Or," I said, icily, "shall I escort myself...
...Y'all take yo' chances," said the President, "an' we'll take ahs...
...If you're not sho' 'nuff satisfied, don't pay...
...Lovely little town...
...I'm killing myself talking agin seggagation, yes, gentlemen, preaching the Gospel, if I may say so, and it seems to me that I've got a right to get a few hours' sleep, only enough to enable me to pick up my Cross again this evening...
...What's where I eat got to do with it...
...No suh," said the Nigra...
...You mean," I said, "because it's seggagated...
...Come on, then," he said, and he turned to the others and said, "Come on, everybody, the speaker says it's all right to go to Earl Abel's, and he ought to know...
...said the Nigra...
...The Southern Liberals, crowded around me in admiration for my talk, said there wasn't hardly any place to go at that hour except the Officers Club...
...Long ez dey was oney talkin', dey didn't do no hahm at all, but sence dey staht' de-segga-gatin' deyselves, dey jes' about ruin' White Supremacy 'roun' heah...
...We've deseggagated our own churches, and some of the seggagationist brethren won't even talk to us...
...The technique was working magnificently...
...I'm plumb worn out for the cause and bone-weary...
...Brother Mayer," said one of the Methodists, "the hotels in Dallas are seggagated...
...We abominate it...
...Under his Texas hat he wore a Texas smile...
...In this life, I hope," said the priest, and he drove slowly away...
...Nor will I countenance the deprivation of that right to our cullid brethren, and I shall say so this very night, without fear or favor, right here in Dallas...
...I said...
...I'd like," I said, "a quiet place...
...Against white people...
...Because," said the priest, "the only decent cup of coffee you can get in Houston, and that's a fact, is in a segregated restaurant, and you wouldn't go in one...
...Go where...
...Outlook," I said, "is one thing, sleep is another...
...Yo' c'n go to duh nex' town," said the Nigra...
...I got a real all-out snooze at the Ritz-Vanderbilt in Dallas...
...I had a half-day and an evening to kill, and I thought I'd look around the town...
...Hear, hear," said the Committee, but without the exclamation mark this time...
...No," I said "I wouldn't...
...No, sir," I said, "Carmel is up North...
...If you are counting on us to come down here and split hairs about hotels with you, you'd better take a recount, because we won't be with you," and I leaped into a cab...
...I said, seeing the technique take hold...
...Brothuh Mayuh," he said, grinding a foot-and-a-half-long Texas cockroach under the heel of his Texas boot, "Ah wants tuh say, on behalf of the White Cit'zens Counc'ls, dat any ole time yo' wants tuh come back to duh Republic of Texas 'n talk agin' seggagation again, we'll foot duh bill...
...And why not...
...But, Brother Mayer," said the Baptist, "but—," and he fell silent...
...Historic, cowboys and all that...
...Yo' got a sign dere like dis'n, boss...
...Yessuh, boss," said the Nigra...
...We're counting on you Northern Liberals to help us fight seggagation...
...You're guilty, if you don't mind my saying so, Padre, of error of angelism, and you can read all about it in Niebuhr...
...Carmel, California...
...He picked up my bag, and off we went...
...Moral men in immoral society...
...On my way south and west, to San Antone, I got off at Gulch City, "The Prettiest Place in the Pan-handle...
...I want," I said, "the best cup of coffee in Houston...
...Brother Mayer," said the priest, "I must be misunderstanding you...
...No," said one of them, "there's only Earl Abel's...
...I said...
...We can't win alone...
...Well," I said, "I'm agin it, and I'm talking agin it all the time, because I'm a liberal, but I reckon I got a right to go where I want and stay where I want and live where I want...
...You know what seggagation is...
...Gentlemen," I said, "I want to go to a hotel...
...Of course not," I said...
...And why not...
...We love individual liberty, including the liberty of any man to go into any hotel...
...Looks deseggagated to me," I said...
...I couldn't go there, I said, because I'm a pacifist...
...Sho' 'nuff, there was an old Nigra a-settin' on the stoop at the bus stop...
...And we deplore discrimination (which, to be sure, is not as wicked), and you may lay to it, laymen and clergy alike, that no Northern Liberal will ever say a kind word for discrimination, North or South...
...Tha's hall raht, then," said the President, "but how yo' gonna do us any good talkin' agin seggagation...
...We represent small churches, to be perfectly frank with you...
...We been losin' groun' to duh White Suthrun traituhs dat go 'roun' mongrelizin' wid duh Nigras...
...it was getting dark when the driver called out, "Off here for Gulch City...
...We in the North reject seggagation utterly...
...Well," said the Baptist, "to tell you the truth, Brother Mayer, none of us has a right quiet place...
...If I want to go to this town, nobody's gonna stop me...
...It was getting dark, and I picked up my bag and started to walk away, and the Nigra said, "Boss, dat Lib'l talkin' agin dat seggagation yo' was talkin' 'bout—you make any money outa hit...
...A half-mile down the road was a sign, "Gulch City, The Prettiest Place in the Panhandle...
...What do you think Carmel is—Gulch City...
...Air-conditioned, too...
...This was the opening for the technique...
...I paused...
...Dunno, boss, Ah ain' traveled respectively...
...I gave him a dime and went on in to town...
...Dunno, boss, 'cep a white man come here oncet 'n seed dat ole sign 'n mumbled sump'n 'bout 'de least of dem, inasmuch, ' er sump'n lahkka dat, 'n' turn' away...
...I got out of the car...
...said one of the Suthruners...
...The next stop was Dallas...
...Reminded me of home...
...Be seeing you," I said...
Vol. 21 • July 1957 • No. 7
