WAY OVER PEOPLE'S HEADS'
Neuberger, Richard L.
'Way Over People's Heads' By RICHARD L. NEUBERGER FOUR MEN sat around an oak table in a pleasant room with high windows and luxurious velvet drapes. They appeared to be in their early 40's. Two of...
...Doesn't he realize and appreciate what we've been doing for him...
...He read from the handwritten pages before him...
...November's winds had stripped the leaves from most of the deciduous trees, although a few evergreens still dotted the lawn in needled splendor...
...It sells...
...A few more battles like that one, and we will be able to balance the budget and reduce taxes during the next fiscal year, despite the bungling and waste of the previous Administration...
...The absurdity of using a word like 'hallow' in a speech to the masses...
...The mustached man, who seemed to be an unofficial chairman, spoke authoritatively once more...
...Gentlemen...
...We have had some warlike trouble recently, because the opposition party left us in such bad shape at the time it deservedly was voted out of office...
...Let me review for you what we will give the Old Man to say...
...The others at the table nodded their heads...
...Better leave out 'fiscal,'" suggested the one who had been disturbed about 'hallow...
...he shouted...
...There may be 15,000 people at this meeting, and it's sure to get good coverage in the press...
...It's simple and straight to the point...
...The Old Man never let us know he was leaving the White House...
...The party gets built up right from the beginning...
...The men at the table murmured occasionally among themselves and traded back and forth the results of their writing...
...Right you are," said the mus-tached man...
...At length, the mustached man rapped with his knuckles on the heavy table...
...Who except a few highbrows will understand what that means...
...Outside the window, a fountain played fitfully...
...Suddenly the door to the room burst open...
...The fourth man had been silent RICHARD t. NEUBERGER is United States Senator from Oregon...
...Two of the men wore expensive broadcloth coats, while the others were in shirts with their sleeves rolled up...
...he said...
...He had handled them many times before...
...There seemed to be no disagreement...
...He just can't go ahead and give that thing," interrupted the mustached man...
...II Pencils moved hurriedly over large pads of paper in the simple room...
...I'm puzzled, too," he said, "over the fact that the Old Man never mentions one thing about the party and its magnificent record in office...
...He stopped for a moment in his reading...
...See what I mean," the mus-tached man said...
...But the four men were preoccupied with two sheets of white foolscap paper on the sturdy table, to the exclusion of this vista of autumn...
...Let's get to work, then," ordered the mustached individual...
...The Baltimore & Ohio decided to run the special train this evening instead of tomorrow morning, as originally planned...
...He began reading from his pad: "Eighty-seven years ago, when great patriots of high purpose first were talking of a party such as ours, this country got started...
...The mustached man at the head of the table picked up the sheets again...
...To them 'hallow' is a hole in a tree trunk where opossums or coon families live...
...The Old Man must have been having an aberration to think he could get by with material like that...
...He'll go down 10 percentage points in the next public-opinion polls...
...Why doesn't he use such an opportunity to put in a strong plug for the party that's responsible for all his success...
...Another man at the table chimed in: "Yes, and the Old Man gets under way with words like 'conceived,' 'dedicated,' and 'consecrated...
...The Old Man has got some good stuff in this draft," he conceded, "but, if you ask me, it's way over people's heads...
...You couldn't be more right," a man in white shirt and dark stock said...
...He drew a line through the offending word...
...Why doesn't the Old Man just say 'eighty-seven years...
...When they're advertising their thirty-seven varieties of pickles, catsup and mustard, do they ever talk about 'one score and seventeen...
...It's too late now to get your material to him in time...
...It's way over people's heads...
...They'll never know what he's talking about...
...until now...
...Did he ever believe we would OK anything so far over the heads of the voters, who have to pass on his Administration next year...
...The fact that they favored linen stocks as neckpieces, rather than less gaudy black bow ties, indicated their adherence to the highest male fashion of the day...
...How many of the Old Man's listeners will know what 'fiscal' means...
...Does he think everybody in the United States walks around with a dictionary under one arm...
...It'll mean a lot of votes in '64...
...The men barely looked up from their labors when a liveried Negro servant came in quietly and turned up the wicks of two massive oil lamps made of burnished brass...
...A writer before his entry into politics, Senator Neuber-ger continues to contribute to many of the leading publications in the country...
...That'd be a real waste of the newspaper space for which they pay out hard-earned coin of the realm...
...He gestured disdainfully at the firm black handwriting on the two pages...
...We have done our best to set things to rights, and now we see better days ahead—as a result of the battle fought on this very spot three or four months back...
...Each of us had better pull this thing completely apart, and then we'll pool our efforts into one simple statement that the lowliest trapper in the Kentucky backwoods can understand without having to take off his fur cap and scratch his head...
...Now take this 'four score and seven years ago' gobbledygook," he began...
...He'll lose his audience right off the bat unless we tone down his language...
...We appear in concord on what we must do and time's a'wastin'," he advised...
...There isn't a single brain-tormenting word...
...I understand," replied the intruder apologetically, "that he had with him another copy of his own draft, which you gentlemen have been working on...
...Otherwise the Administration will be in trouble...
...Good Heavens...
...Gentlemen...
...The President already has left for the battlefield...
...Friends," he announced, "I think we have it at last...
...What will he talk about...
...It's got to be brought down to where folks can understand it...
...The mustached man leaped up, his face contorted in rage and disappointment...
...A heavy-set man with furry sideburns thundered in...
...Occasionally a gray squirrel scampered across the grass...
Vol. 20 • April 1956 • No. 4
