MELONS AND OTHER SUBJECTS
Paine, Robert
Melons and Other Subjects By ROBERT PAINE THE BIG TREE SPEAKING of Christmas trees, U. S. Steel didn't observe the "Don't open till Christmas" notice at all but divided its nice, juicy melon of...
...they had it propped wide open...
...Meanwhile, the Commander-in-chief of army and navy, firm in his calm, not to say icy, New England attitude, does not seem to scare worth a cent...
...Maybe the founders visioned 1926, when they decided that each branch of Congress should be the judge of the qualifications of its own members...
...But it is a mighty fine tree and the farmers and cotton growers had a lot of fun in helping to dress it up...
...It was Christmas, New Year's day, Fourth of July, Decoration day and everything for fellows on the inside of U. S. Steel, who knew that the melon was ripe and would be sliced...
...and, the patriot had better have his hair bobbed, or prepare to feel it rise en masse, in terror...
...Very likely, too, he locates much of the artificial terror in the makers of warships, armor and gunpowder...
...Union Pacific Railway, $189,000,000...
...we are mere grasshoppers hopping about on the ground, while the foreigners rule the heavens...
...It was a nice Christmas gift to the stockholders...
...Just a "business advantage...
...U. S. Steel slices a $234,000,000 melon for its stockholders...
...The British dominions are now home-governed...
...Also, it will cost much to discover whether or not senate seats to which Pennsylvania and Illinois are entitled were bought...
...As to air war-craft, huh...
...To get to the ratio, we must build 36 first class submarines, to cost $110,000,000, 21 cruisers, costing $300,000,000, to match Great Britain's, and 14 10,000-ton cruisers, to match Japan's...
...However, it may interest the sad-eyed farmers and cotton growers to know that there are still on the tree melons like these: Standard Oil of'N...
...Southern Pac...
...TAINTED MEMBERSHIP SENATE elections committee wants $100,000 to spend on discovering whether or not Senator-elect Gould, of Maine, is a briber...
...Already Admiral Eberle has a terrific scare in the makings...
...The Australian loves the Jap about as much as does the Californian who can't raise one strawberry, or carnation where the Jap i*aise.s two...
...He informs the House Naval Affairs committee that the Washington confei-ence ratio 5-5-3 is shot to pieces...
...Verily, not...
...WAR SCARES ARE RIPE IT BEING discovered that Uncle Sam has more money in his purse than he thought he had, now is the open season for war scares...
...Possibly, also, there is enough of the diplomat in Coolidge to observe that we cannot concede the possibility of war with Great Britain without conceding the abolishment of civilization, and that a war with Japan would mean our support by Great Britain...
...Delaware & Western Ry., $124,000,000...
...Representative government makes a pretty exhibition, when the first thing a national assembly has to do is to spend the people's money in determining what proportion of itself is composed of crooks...
...It is not known when, if at all, these nice melons will be taken from the tree and sliced...
...Would Canada stand for Japs overrunning our states...
...and, U. S. Steel flies up about six points, overnight...
...J., 5350,000,000...
...By the time that scare worked on Doheny, by Admiral Robinson, becomes the least passe, there will be many fresh scares...
...And Australia...
...Still, the expenditure is legitimate enough...
...General Motors, $85,000,000...
...Santa Fe Railway, $210,000,000...
...Standard Oil of Indiana, $142,000,000...
...Melons and Other Subjects By ROBERT PAINE THE BIG TREE SPEAKING of Christmas trees, U. S. Steel didn't observe the "Don't open till Christmas" notice at all but divided its nice, juicy melon of hundreds of millions...
...Coolidge has the oil odor of the Robison-Doheny scare in his nostrils...
...N. Y. Central Railway, $158,000,000...
...No gamble about it...
...They knew not only all about the U. S. Steel melon but also that its slicing would boost other stocks...
...Great Britain and Japan have expanded their fleets of cruisers and submarines to beat all records...
...Railway, $358,000,000...
...If a constituency isn't at all particular as to whom it sends to Congress, Congress ought to be, as a matter of self-protection...
...Opportunity didn't have to knock on their-door...
Vol. 19 • January 1927 • No. 1
