MR. HOOVER'S DRIVEL
Mr. Hoover's Drivel JJERBERT HOOVER'S Madison Square Garden speech was an essay by a high school boy who has just heard that Herbert Spencer lived in the riineteenth century. Directed against...
...Charley: "What to 'ell's the matter with you...
...When they get tired of this they will choose representatives for themselves...
...In short, two parties were appealing for the support of the Indians...
...Commerce and merchant capital 150 years ago: land and slaves before the Qvil War...
...what can I do for you today...
...Woll as a philosopher and guide...
...into the steel areas of western Pennsylvania...
...His own party has a long history of acting as a government nurse for capital invested in industry and yet he assumes that the masters of American life have acquired this mastery ""''without such nursing...
...It is only a few weeks ago that Smith's snobs considered it an insult to Smith to suggest that he would employ a Negro girl as a stenographer...
...Red Jacket, whose name signified Keep Awake, replied: "Brother: At the treaties held for the purchase of our lands, the white men, with sweet voices and smiling faces, told us they loved us, and that they would not cheat us, but that the King's children on the other side of the lake would cheat us...
...and considering that in this respect our unions are at the bottom of the list, there is little likelihood of the trade unions abroad accepting Mr...
...Pitch 'im out...
...Here is an "infant" that Hoover will have to look after when he succeeds Lord Calvin next year, for one of the reasons for organizing the new chain is to "combat unfair and uneconomic legislation affecting all chain stores...
...The solemn hour of choice has come It's Tweedledee or Tweedledum...
...Woll asserts that the British movement is learning from the American movement is because the Congress turned down Communism and Comrrrunists...
...That full dinner pail," points Tweedledum...
...Now it is the turn of Hoover's cads to answer a statement that he had once danced with a Negro woman as "the most indecent and unworthy statement in the whole of a bitter campaign...
...Considering that the trade union movement in all the nations across the A*hntic without a single exception have a much larger percentage of the workers organized than we have here...
...I'm regular and out he goes...
...That will be a great day for the Socialist Party, a period of a real fight for stakes that are worth while...
...Tweedledee Rah...
...To Woll this means abandonment of the aim of eventual nationalization of industry...
...We venture the assertion that there are civilized men in the southern states where race prejudice is most widespread who are revolted at this spectacle...
...The Chain Store Giant ^fHILE grog and religion are occupying the attention of the voters a new sovereign is rising to share in the rule of American subjects...
...And there, brethren, was the origin of class consciousness ; there is the logical reason for not trusting either the Hoover or the Smith parties...
...Al: "All right, Charley...
...prays Tweedledee...
...A number of* grocery chains have been united in a super-chain for eight years and this monarch becomes a part of the new retail dynasty...
...Keep up the bars," cries Tweedledee...
...When . we go on the other side of the lake, the King's chil- q dren tell us your people will cheat us, but with sweet voices and smiling faces assure us of their love, and that they will not cheat us...
...Here is your paradise of "private enterprise...
...Knowing it the reader may form his own judgment of the man who is capable of spewing the drivel that was spewed in Madison Square Garden Monday night...
...Hoover knows it for the evidence stares intelligent people in the face...
...Company spies are as numerous as flies around a honey vat...
...He will be laughed at for his pains...
...Because nationalization "poisons the very roots of liberalism—that is, political equality, free speech, free assembly, free press and equaljty of opportunity...
...The tariff for me," says Tweedledum...
...I'm lily white," smiles Tweedledum...
...Our dear friend the farmer," sighs Tweedledum...
...This follows the history of all industrial combines in our history...
...But the cad and the snob and the bully who sups on abysmal hates when civilized people give their time to obliterating old prejudices are guilty of high crimes against humanity...
...They fan the dying embers of a fire that has seared the southern people of both races and that has left hideous scars on southern life...
...To accept his view of this country one is required to be deaf, dumb and blind...
...In fact, there is an intelligent group of white men and women in that region which for years has been working to discourage this sort of thing with the view of promoting better relations between the people of both races...
...Capitalists should own our industries and laborers work for the owners—when they are needed...
...The high hat gentlemen leaders of the two parties have revealed themselves as snobs and cads in addition, to appealing to the primitive emotions that have stirred mankind since the early days of the religious wars...
...Avoid their bunk "lest our heads should be too much loaded and by and by burst...
...Our Indecent Snobs ^|/E repeat that this campaign of the two wings of capitalistic politics has stink to the lowest depths of degradation...
...Charley: "I want you to get busy with our boys up there and throw Sulzer out...
...ti .* fV . afAXOM iSWlVlllil...
...It means that representatives of the unions sit in the councils of these parties with open shop enemies of the trade unions...
...Ignorant voters will choose the representatives from candidates of the two capitalist parties as they have chosen them for oil, steel, copper and so on...
...The small business man and shopkeeper will eventually be thrust aside...
...CURTAIN...
...It is a good idea and we hope that it will include an important episode in the life of the Happy Warrior...
...Against alien hordes," chimes Tweedledum...
...Moreover, we could not wish that calamity upon them...
...Capitalism is the enemy of elemental human rights arid these disappear where it becomes the master of any region...
...Here are two instances where old abysmal hates do not crawl out of the dephts...
...NOT IN NICARAGUA...
...Tweedledum...
...Hoover, into regions where there is no nationalization of industry, regions where private enterprise is constituted as you would have it...
...In some sectors of this paradise^" West .Virginia is an example—private ownership owns the stores, schools, amusement houses, newspapers, police powers, politicians, candidates, parties...
...Now I must cast a patriot's vote For Tweedledee ? Or Tweedledum ? The thing la clear: I'll first take note Of issues hanging on my vote For Tweedledee or Tweedledum...
...You fill it in," vows Tweedledee...
...The chain system of retailing goods has for years been growing and now the various systems have become sufficiently important to warrant unity of action...
...If this is true the statement accuses our British brothers of scrapping their Labor-Socialist party and delivering themselves over to the Liberal and Conservative parties...
...No such change was made in the program of the unions and their party, yet Woll sees not only American conquest of British trade unions but American conquest of the labor movement of the whole world...
...Obediently yours," signs Tweedledum...
...Nationalization of industry...
...Hoover will have none of it...
...Charles F. Murphy, chief of Tammany HalL Time, August, 1913...
...Smith, "Up From the City Streets," which is to be broadcast over the radio in support of the Democratic campaign...
...The flag and the home," shouts Tweedledee...
...Leading Characters, Al Smith, Speaker of the Assembly...
...The nation lifts its mighty voice Of votes that spell the nation's choice: Rah...
...Woll is opposed to this recognition...
...The British on the other side of the lake had warned the Redmen against the American sharps and the Americans warned them against the British...
...I'm for the tariff," says Tweedledee...
...We offer the following suggestion...
...More than fifty such chain systems have organized the National Chain Store Association and it brings within its range more than 16,000 stores throughout the country which do an annual business of more than 750 million dollars...
...He assumes much and proves little...
...Scene in the Assembly chamber with the Tammany boys on hand, some soused as they gaze at the Happy Warrior managing the impeachment proceedings...
...Woll's "Discovery" JTOR amazing perversion of facts an article by Matthew Woll in some trade union journals on the British Trade Union Congress is a classic...
...The Congress has done tins of and trade with Russia and it still favors this policy and rightly so...
...Climax: Murphy in New York the following July in Tammany Hall...
...It means a non-partisan politics which sends no fighting members of the workers into parliament...
...And why...
...7 he totem* hour of choice hag come— It's 7 weedledet or Tweedledum To tee my way, Fve sadly failed— O* this dilemma I'm impaled Her* TtMcdlexUe — Horn, Tweedledum...
...God save the farmer...
...Public meetings are 'prohibited...
...Murphy in New York at the telephone with the Happy Warrior at the other end of the wire in Albany...
...Well, he will not go abroad and tell intelligent workers about his discovery...
...Directed against his "opponents," he charges them with favoring "State Socialism," whereas it is state capitalism which Smith favors, at least for super-power, a capitalism which has, in some respects, better prospects for capitalists than corporate capitalism has...
...Practice deceit, serve as obedient poodles to their wealthy keepers, and swine their way through graft and loot if they must...
...Attempts to organize are ruthlessly crushed...
...British trade unionists will be interested to learn that they have decided to "follow the principles and practices of American trade unions" and that the general policies of American trade unions are "rapidly being followed by the labor movements throughout the world...
...Business Is King," greets Tweedledee...
...The Socialist Party and its candidates appear before the bar of judgment in these matters with clean hands...
...Let them market hokum if they will...
...into the textile provinces of the South...
...The gunman rules in many of these regions...
...He may get a job as clerk for the nobles but some will, have to join the ranks of the unemployed...
...into the feudal regions owned by absentee masters in Colorado, Idaho and Montana...
...railroads irranediately thereafter...
...Follow us into the textile regions of New Enggland...
...Al: "But there is no evidence on that guy that will warrant removal...
...Murphy: "Hello, Al...
...All this is the ripe fruit of capitalism for which Hoover pleads...
...These things puzz!e our heads, and we believe' that the Indians must take care of themselves, suri n.->t trust either in your people or in the King's c-.fldren...
...into the coal regions of West Virginia...
...Meantime the giant will be represented at Washington...
...then the rise of oil, steel, copper, coal, banks and, finally, super-power...
...Follow us, Mr...
...Reading this speech we are convinced that Hoover is an over-inflated bladder...
...In the cities it has been utilities, gas, transportation, water and electricity The chain store giant is late in arriving at the luxurious dinner table spread for American nobles of cash and politics but it is promised a good feast...
...The fat family purse," points Tweedledee...
...A Socialist ditchdigger would make a sorry figure of the Republican candidate in a joint discussion...
...Old gaping wounds are opened and for what...
...The home and the flag," adds Tweedledum...
...Economy's fine,** sings Tweedledee...
...A nation of informed voters would hurl these contemptible politicians into the obscurity they merit...
...The boys gather at the annual Fourth' of July celebration and pay homage to the Declaration of Independence with Charley master of ceremonies...
...We beg you to make your mind easy and not trouble us, lest our heads should be too much loaded and by and by burst...
...To the Solid South," coos Tweedledee...
...The vote is taken and Sulzer is out...
...The other reason is because in the present plight of British industry the trade unions have decided to help the incompetent capitalist owners to stabilize it...
...In order that the cads and snobs may reap a few more votes for parties that are as emptied of principles and issues as a hip flask is of liquor after a night's carouse...
...In other words, economic mastery carries with it the will for political influence and power...
...Here workingmen dare not speak or act without terror dogging their heels...
...Up From the City Streets" \ N ALL-STAR cast is rehearsing a sketch from a biography of Gov...
...Economic and political oligarchy is the rule...
...Al: "Hello, Charley...
...Sweet Voices and Smiling Faces JN THE noble days when we were making the Indians safe for democracy by taking their lands and debauching them with rum there came to the Redmen an awakening to American hokum...
...They issue out of luxuriously furnished offices and are penned by high mandarins of capitalist politics...
...The bank knows us," vows Tweedledum...
...I'm the evidence...
...The reason why Mr...
...In 1811 certain gentlemen met certain Indian chiefs at Buffalo with the view of getting some more Indian lands in the usual Christian way...
...Economy's mine," sings Tweedledum...
Vol. 7 • October 1928 • No. 45
