Poker Rights
GOODMAN, WALTER
Fair Game BY WALTER GOODMAN Poker Rights "That does it! " exploded Pagliacci, and he flung his three 10s at Othello, whose little straight had just taken the big pot. Sweeping in the chips,...
...About as lucky as you, pal," countered Pagliacci...
...There's a Federal judge some-where who'll jump at a ground-breaking case like this...
...Maybe you'd do better in a lower-limit game...
...Have you tried three-card monte...
...Are you saying I'm cheating...
...Sweeping in the chips, Othello murmured a routine, "Tough luck...
...you beat my straight with a flush...
...Othello drifted into reminiscence...
...What about comparable worth...
...You know what that is, that's social discrimination...
...Please," Pagliacci broke the mood, "spare us the 'How hard I worked to get where I am' crap...
...I'm suing...
...Poker: The last barrier...
...You mean it's unconstitutional for a straight to beat three 10s...
...I try like anything...
...I'm talking structural inequality, the stacked deck of life...
...Pagliacci folded his arms...
...Othello's smile turned hard: "Hey, are you saying the cards are marked...
...People whose names end in vowels...
...Irrelevant...
...Forgive me for suggesting this," Othello said, with a gesture at his chips, "but maybe the 'o's' have more card sense than the 'i's.' Just for the sake of argument...
...invited Othello...
...Maybe I personally am a better poker player than you...
...And who made the rules...
...It's got nothing to do with marked cards...
...I'm going to play poker with you, and I'm going to win...
...It's my right to play poker...
...Tough luck, your Uncle Tom," shot back Pagliacci...
...Pardon me...
...We're talking classes...
...Othello resumed his chip-stacking...
...Look," he said, "there's no law you have to play poker...
...It's got nothing to do with anybody cheating...
...you beat my flush with a hidden full house...
...Othello grinned...
...The winners, that's who...
...Othello went back to his chip-stacking...
...That's racist genetics, and you know it...
...I put in the same effort as you, and Mr...
...He paused for effect: "I'm talking civil rights...
...Choose a game you can win...
...So that's a prima facie violation of equality of outcome, and I'm bringing a class action...
...We're not talking losing...
...There are young attorneys in public-law firms subsidized by the government ready to advance equality in America no matter where, from the family den to the gambling den...
...And that's not counting the hands I bluffed you out of with absolutely nothing...
...What kind of society is it where an ace beats a queen...
...Every Thursday night for three months...
...Wanna bet...
...If this were an egalitarian society, I would win as much as you...
...Mondale has come out in favor of the principle of comparable reward for comparable effort...
...Is the class of people whose names end in 'i' forever to suffer discrimination because as children they were deprived of the opportunity to develop their card-playing skills...
...You've been winning for three months...
...He thumped the table, upsetting Othello's chips...
...Pagliacci's eyes misted...
...Let us go from stud to study,' as the Reverend Jackson would surely say, or probably has said, 'from the hi-low ground to the high ground.' My generation is stuck with bad habits, like pulling to inside straights...
...I've worked hard at my shuffling and dealing...
...I learned about inside straights from Eddie the Sharpie on the stoop of my apartment building on Bathgate Avenue...
...Only," Pagliaccire-plied shrewdly, "if the courts guarantee an equitable outcome...
...It's time people like us took a pot...
...What class...
...An egalitarian society is where everybody wins in the game of his choice...
...We're talking systemic discrimination...
...If we are to become an equitable society, the luckless will have to do as well as the lucky...
...Pagliacci grabbed the deck...
...Maybe you're lucky in love, pal," said Othello...
...Poker is the great American game," responded Pagliacci...
...We're not talking individuals here...
...That's what I learned on the stoop...
...Okay, wise guy...
...Their eyes met...
...So...
...People whose names end in the vowel 'i' and who lose in poker...
...And in a truly just society, it would be my right to win at poker...
...My name ends in a vowel...
...It's a rule of the game...
...This is the fourth hand in a row: You beat my queens up with aces up...
...Then I would lose as much as you...
...thundered Pagliacci...
Vol. 67 • September 1984 • No. 16
