Running from Responsibility

...Unfortunately, in her effort to demonstrate that a shift m male attitudes caused all the subsequent changes, Ehrenreich does not explore the connection between men's thinking and the ideology of the women's movement-presumably the subject for another book It is difficult to fully understand the male position in isolation, without considering how the actions of men and women interacted and spiraled into such drastic social upheaval...

...Yet they could not, for fear of appearing irresponsible and immature, of not behaving like "a real man " Bachelors were often suspected of homosexuality Then Playboy presented an exciting alternative An evei new, goigeous playmate, available for merely a champagne dinner in a bachelor pad, was preferable to handing over one's paychecks to some little woman Men could be adventurous rather than "queer" and hold on to their male image Advances in contraception took much of the risk out of nonmarital sex and made being unattached more pleasurable Later, the gay rights movement, by seeking to make homosexuality acceptable, also helped men out of the marriage trap Single life became an appealing option instead of a fate to be avoided...

...No one knows, though, whether the single life style will become a permanent part of the American scene, or whether it will disappear as totally as the hirsute flower children of the '60s Two-income couples, as Ehrenreich points out, have economic as well as personal incentives to work at their marriages Moreover, people do continue to marry, and following divorce to remarry and to have children by choice Just as a generation well acquainted with the miseries of its parents chose singledom, so the children of swinging singles raised by day care centers, itinerant maids and au pair girls may choose a more secure environment for themselves and for their children...

...Running from Responsibility The Hearts of Men: American Dreams and the Flight from Commitment By Barbara Ehrenreich Anchor/Doubleday 206 pp $13 95 Reviewed by Carol Cleaver Co-author, "Horace Pippin, The Artist as a Black American " Since many have blamed the feminist movement for the demise of the family, Barbara Ehrenreich attempts to set the record straight in her new book Men fleeing commitment and the breadwinner role, she provocatively alleges, fueled the fires of liberation-1st ire, not the other way around...

...The Hearts of Men deals with these and other postwar influences on male consciousness, including the lifestyles of the hippies and the beats In addition, it digresses to attack the female backlash against the Equal Rights Amendment...

...Ehrenreich criticizes pop psychology for being only too willing to go along with these trends, telling people what they wanted to hear Narcissism replaced self-sacrifice as a goal of mental "health " Responsible concern for others, formerly a virtue, became "guilt," a no-no The goal was fulfillment Although a man and a woman's "growth patterns" might for a time converge, eventually diverge they must How divorce affected mates, children, parents, and close friends was deemed insignificant...

...Ehrenreich also fails to evaluate the authentic gains of the last decades She cites only the victims-the husbandless mothers who must now try to support a family Her solution is that panacea, the Federal government, which should provide tree day care and, w hen necessary welfare She never examines more fundamental approaches belter dissemination of birth control information, legal enforcement of paternal financial responsibilities and, most important of all, equal job opportunities and pay for women Our best hope lies in a vital, competitive system capable of finding practical ways to make available the services single parents require...

...Back in the '50s, when togetherness was in vogue and the nuclear suburban family represented the American way of life, women in their push-button kitchens languished from boredom and men died of stress-related heart attacks According to the author, the gray flannel nightmare of the commuter train and the constant pressure to support a houseful of consumers caused many men to want to run away from it all...