Making News
GOODMAN, WALTER
Game BY WALTER GOODMAN Making News The staff of unesco, assigned to develop a new international press order in which the nations of the Third World will be treated with sufficient respect, has...
...Martial law has been declared...
...Vienna, opec hq: Following the announcement of the latest daily rise in the priceof crude, a cablegram of heartfelt appreciation has been received by the secretariat of the oil-producing states from the International Association of Sweater Makers...
...Both sides claim victory and agree that the late referees were in the pay of the United States...
...several flunked, and so learned the lesson...
...Abadan: The fraternal sporting match between the Shiite and Sunni teams adjourned at the call to prayer, with the score standing at 22,439 to 18,971, not counting the wounded...
...The report by Western news services that the Cubans are carrying bazookas, rockets and spare parts for tanks constitutes a base provocation...
...A cablegram of fraternal appreciation has been received by the Ayatollah Khomeini from the Progressive Association of Metropolitan Heroin Distributors...
...Tel Aviv: Zionist schoolchildren were given fraternal instruction in political science this morning by a band of Palestinian Liberation Fighters...
...An ode from the Gdansk-Soviet Friendship Society acclaims the Soviet tanks "for keeping our reactionary impulses in check, and safeguarding our freedoms from ourselves...
...A spokesman for the Palestinian Liberation Fighters registered a protest with the United Nations over this imperialist intervention and promised the children graduate instruction when they grow older, if they grow older...
...Bangui: A visiting delegation from the Soviet Politburo has hailed the leaders of the Central African Republic for their victory by unanimous vote in the recent provincial elections...
...The children were tested particularly in their ability to take cover...
...Mogadishu: An outbreak of boils has been traced to the machinations of the U.S...
...Brazzaville: With the assistance of advisors from the People's Republic of Cuba, a fraternal dam has been constructed for purposes of irrigation...
...Central Intelligence Agency...
...A television docudrama is planned, under the supervision of unesco, to correct distortions of the Moslem way of life spread by Western chauvinists...
...Unfortunately, it has been discovered that no water is convenient to the dam...
...Portions of it have reached The New Leader, en route to journalism schools...
...and 4 a.m., Beijing time...
...There will be severe penalties for littering...
...Teheran: In a show of fraternity with the oppressed masses of New York City, the Majlis has resolved to subsidize the growing and export of poppies...
...Game BY WALTER GOODMAN Making News The staff of unesco, assigned to develop a new international press order in which the nations of the Third World will be treated with sufficient respect, has put together a sample book of acceptable reportage for the guidance of progressive journalists...
...Moscow: Citizens of Czechoslovakia, Poland and the German Democratic Republic are still dancing in the streets as they try to express their emotions over the recent fraternal Warsaw Pact maneuvers in their neighborhoods...
...All messages must be removed by 5 a.m...
...Mecca: The beheading of a teenage couple for petting within 50 yards of a mosque was hailed by the Federation of Islamic Criminologists as a gesture of compassion, and a great advance over blinding and burning...
...Their fraternal offer to share with unesco their experience in purifying the journalists of their nations has been warmly received...
...There was also practice in first-aid...
...All persons suspected of boils will be flayed...
...Somewhere Secret: Idi Amin, Pol Pot and other leading progressives of the Third World have sent a cablegram of congratulations to unesco for its efforts in behalf of responsible journalism...
...Therefore, water is now being transported to the area by Cuban volunteers...
...Unfortunately, members of the Zionist war machine interfered with completion of the course...
...Here, then, is the way the news will be presented in the forthcoming unesco Gazette...
...Peking: In the continuing campaign to invite an open exchange of views among the cadres, permission has been granted to all citizens to place any message on the Democracy Wall between the hours of 2 a.m...
...Your progressive accounting techniques are already being adopted by the Soviet Ministry of Agriculture...
...By achieving 108 percent support," noted the fraternal delegates, "you have set a model for progressive regimes throughout the world...
Vol. 63 • November 1980 • No. 20
