On Television
KITMAN, MARVIN
On Television CONVENTIONAL BOREDOM BY MARVIN KITMAN The poll takers-explaining Ronald Reagan's sudden surge ahead in the Presidential race following the Republican Convention in Detroit last...
...After the suspense over Kissinger ended on the second night, I was disappointed that the Rockettes didn't rush out from the wings...
...On the third night, however, Teddy Kennedy did pump a little life into the proceedings with what Ben Watten-berg called his "acceptance speech...
...It was a cross between a Flag Day recitation and a bad Vegas show...
...I don't even like the guy...
...Why not treat the conventions like any other news story, without all the advance planning and setting up of equipment and assignment of star reporters...
...The networks are being sore losers, of course...
...Besides, you never knew when something really important might happen, like President Carter announcing he wouldn't go to Madison Square Garden until the hostages are released...
...At least the outcome of that game was in doubt...
...You mean you'll be sort of aco-President...
...It's a civics lesson and is on the boring side," he said...
...But obviously the networks thought a lot of people turned on the conventions to catch Jessica Savitch's latest hairdo...
...Before the Ford boom began, the sub-plot had been: Will they boo Henry Kissinger...
...I kept watching anyway...
...They must Polyglycoat Susan's lips out in Hollywood, while they turtlewax the teeth...
...The fellow just has no sense of timing...
...But the audience had been walking out or falling asleep...
...The networks' second serious loss of credibility in two consecutive conventions reminded me of what Sam Rayburn used to say: "You want to go into politics, young man, learn how to count...
...Nine hours of Rodney Dangerfield would be worse, or four hours of Pot-sy from Happy Days singing...
...Certainly neither of the two shows was anywhere near as gripping as Dallas...
...First of all, the coverage was useless for the few who really wanted to watch the conventions-the buffs, politicians, historians, and people getting paid to suffer, like myself...
...But what really got to me was Wayne Newton with the big diamond rings, singing "Dixie...
...He came across as a sincere used car salesman on Sunset Boulevard...
...Finally, somebody went in and told Reagan, who was taking a nap, the new deal about the co-Presidents...
...Walter Cronkite told us on the first night of the Democratic affair that we didn't need to see the party's film on how the platform is made...
...Secondly, when the networks were not hyping us they were being downright partemalistic...
...It never occured to anyone to wonder why the assembled should boo him, since they weren't Democrats or liberals but Middle American conservatives...
...It's the boost each candidate is said to have received from the "gavel-to-gavel" (navel-to-navel would be more accurate) coverage of his party's nominating shenanigans...
...But on the closing night, with the TV commentators predicting Teddy's appearance on the podium in a show of party unity, Teddy let them down again by arriving at the Garden after everyone was dozing...
...A Ford back in the government would also do wonders for Chevy Chase's career...
...Perhaps the superstar journalists went along with the Ford-for-Vice President story because they thought it would be good for the country...
...It is guaranteed to satisfy no one-not the scholars or buffs, and not the masses who hate democracy more than the Communists when it involves preempting their favorite programs...
...Jimmy Stewart was on hand, too, taking a vacation from selling tires...
...There was no Dancing Waters...
...No, that's not a new disco step...
...You've got to be kidding," Reagan said...
...If Ronald Reagan doesn't win the election, he ought to at least get an Emmy for the best last paragraph in a TV miniseries: There wasn't going to be a Gerald Ford in his future aferall...
...Why not...
...No more big preconvention conferences...
...It's like having an orgasm after the girl has gone to sleep," said a political analyst-not Bill Moyers, Jeff Greenfield or James Kirkpatrick...
...In Detroit, the networks managed to stretch about 38 minutes of possible programing into four days of television...
...It was dramatic in the sense of an Ionesco or Beckett play done on the ABC Movie-of-the Week-that is, very confusing...
...Ford a co-President...
...After all, no advance planning goes into covering plane crashes or heat waves or murders...
...Bush Goes Back to Washington Again...
...When the bottom of the lineup comes to bat, say, on the NBC Game of the Week, would they cut away to Tony Kubek or Joe Garagiola in the stands talking to one of Reggie Jackson's relatives...
...I've never seen anything like this," Dan Rather of CBS said about the so-called surprise finish...
...He was too kind...
...So was Michael Landon, selling the American flag instead of cameras...
...It was the new oratory, 1980, more captivating than the speeches on the podium but just as unctuous-As if such a thing as being wrong was unthinkable...
...Walter interpreted as Ford groped for words about separate-but-equally important duties for a Vice President...
...A New York Yankees baseball telecast on an independent station outdrew all three networks combined one night...
...The eight-hour rules fight was the big opening night drama...
...As for the Democratic Convention, after it made me forget about the Republicans, I decided there were worse things one could watch on television...
...Actually, the microphone pushers created their own problems when they tried to upstage the politicians...
...The TV people are blaming it all on the politicians...
...For three weeks the networks had been building up the rules contest...
...On Television CONVENTIONAL BOREDOM BY MARVIN KITMAN The poll takers-explaining Ronald Reagan's sudden surge ahead in the Presidential race following the Republican Convention in Detroit last July, and Jimmy Carter's remarkable comeback after the Democratic Convention in New York last month?speak of something called the "bump...
...It was a one-question show all week: Who's going to be the designated relief pitcher for Ronnie...
...In sports, Howard Cosell is still distinctly less fascinating than the game itself...
...That's incredible," the unflappable David Brinkley of NBC flapped...
...My impeachable source said that's what really happened...
...And that finale with all the GOP showbiz biggies-only Mary Pickford and Caesar Romero were missing?singing and dancing in a chorus line...
...Indeed, often during the exciting nights of the GOP Convention it seemed as if Chevy was writing the whole script...
...He was one of those who most aggressively pushed the line that Jerry Ford was Reagan's choice...
...What baffles me is why their standings didn't go down...
...I still haven't recovered from learning that Susan Anton is a Republican stalwart...
...When you start having the people vote for one thing that really means something else-A "yes" vote for rule "F(3)c" meant Teddy...
...You improvise, play it as it comes, which is the defect and glory of real news...
...I bet he hadn't...
...It looks like something you would see on TV at 10 p.m...
...My advice to the network executives is to sit back and relax for the next four years...
...Then the first vote came on Monday night...
...Heck, at least he knew his way around Washington...
...Real oratory, compared to the Richard Lugars of the Republican Geritol commercials...
...They don't even get Charlie's Angels...
...So what if he occasionaly cracked his head on a helicopter door...
...If anything exciting turns up in 1984-for instance, two live candidates at one convention, or a real issue-you'll hear about it in sufficient time to rush your camera crews and reporters to the scene...
...TV's digest version of the convention, perfected over the last 20 years, is the weakest possible show...
...I've never heard anything sung at a convention except the Star Spangled Banner, although Everett Dirksen once threatened to sing...
...There was talk about Billygate, disaffection, an open convention, delegates floating around as freely as garbage on Upper New York Bay...
...Rule "F(3)c" sounded like a gas additive or one of those new miracle toothpaste ingredients they're always announcing on TV commercials...
...According to a recent study at Purdue University, this audience has difficulty understanding entertainment programing...
...The Convention had broken new ground in American politics by staguig an opening night entertainment the likes of which had never been seen...
...Think about how much more authentic such coverage would seem to the viewers...
...Walter Cronkite got into the act by bringing Jerry Ford on the air for one of those sermonettes on the mount...
...There were no more co-hosts from showbiz coming out of the closet as Republicans...
...Already there is talk behind the scenes that 1980 is the Custer's Last Stand of gavel-to-gavel coverage because of the poor ratings...
...As my daughter, the college woman, observed during the roll call: "How many states are there again...
...For two days the networks' ace reporters and anchormen were hyping the booing as a big issue...
...Even then they first blew their one almost-news story before turning it into something of a Hollywood "B" movie-sort of a "Mr...
...Int he TV journalist's mind, he is a year-round 1,000 hitter...
...It didn't take too long for the commentators, reporters and assorted visiting experts to regain their breath...
...TV is supposed to be a substitute for being there, in the same way that watching baseball on the tube is...
...It was a classic no-win situation...
...She was kidding, I think...
...It was exactly what it would have been right after the final primary...
...a "no" vote meant Jimmy-you're in serious trouble with the TV audience today...
...The explanations for booting the story were dramatically eloquent in themselves...
...And the standard bearers might actually have to do some work to get their bump in the polls...
...she was unforgettable as she towered over co-host Efrem Zimbalist Jr., seemingly all teeth, lip gloss and chest...
...I doubt," my source said, "if Ford even knew he was in Detroit...
...The networks' strategy in the case of both parties was to make everything exciting, jazzy, regardless of the political reality...
...I got news for you, Walter: Your coverage wasn't too exciting either, considering your idea of a hot item was catching Nancy Reagan falling off her seat the last night in Detroit...
...Even the networks seem to realize that they've got to do something to make their coverage more interesting...
...I'm a thrill-seeker, a diehard, a masochist, and a glutton...
...But if they're listening, I have a modest proposal that just might be the answer...
...Can you imagine covering a ball game in the same fashion that TV monitored the conventions...
Vol. 63 • September 1980 • No. 16
