On the Sunny Side
GOODMAN, WALTER
Game by walter goodman On the Sunny Side With all the moaning and groaning by editorial writers and television commentators over the high cost and short supply of fuel, one might conclude that...
...As for industry, it's time to crack down, cut back, close up...
...Ah, now we recognize you, the Reverends Connally, Jackson and Low-ery...
...So the next time you feel yourself giving way to gloom over the national condition, be cheered by these ordinary Americans doing the Moral Equivalent of War Hustle...
...We are the Think Small Brigade...
...The way I see it, the oil situation would make us all sheiks if it wasn't for inflation...
...Next week, they bring the heaps back, we replace some other parts...
...How is he bearing up...
...Or would that be too large a dose of charisma for the American voter to stomach...
...We are friends of the working stiff...
...Undercoat . . ." "Bug off, the pumps are closed...
...I pump gas three hours a day, which brings in as much as I used to make pumping 10 hours a day...
...The Three Wise Men And, lo, what trio comes this way tripping, arms linked, in rhythm, eyes on the stars...
...But hold on...
...No, no, nothing like that...
...Terrific...
...What are these now, this band of hirsute, unsuited, possibly unsuitable youths with placards...
...Integration at its most intriguing...
...We're keeping our chins up...
...Yes, that's what we wanted to discuss with you...
...And she, too...
...Would you kindly elaborate...
...We have to drive a thousand miles before morning to get in on an antinuke demonstration in Saskatchewan...
...The way I handle the situation is like this...
...Up to a point...
...The ordinary Al...
...Game by walter goodman On the Sunny Side With all the moaning and groaning by editorial writers and television commentators over the high cost and short supply of fuel, one might conclude that the nation is demoralized...
...We've doubled our prices, sent out nasty letters demanding instant payment, threatened to cut off supplies, and nobody opens their mouth...
...The question is invidious...
...There's something for everybody in our energy crisis-crunch...
...Easy-payment...
...What about profits...
...Screw you, Ralph Nader...
...She's the hottest gal in town...
...Left and Right and black and white, old and young, money-grubbers and money scorners, establishment and anti-establishment...
...And there I was, Presidential timber unable to take root, and mine eyes turned to the Mideast, and now I have created the Gospel according to St...
...When a plant shuts down, the workers will be fed, clothed and housed by Washington...
...And here, looking just like an ordinary Joe or Al or Harry, except for the good will flowing from all pores, is Ernest Mogul, president of the East-West-North-South Petroleum Consortium...
...Gotta jog now...
...Personally, we have resolved never to grow up...
...Fonda-Hayden are going to talk philosophy...
...We are opposed to energy in all artificial forms...
...Mogul, how is your company doing in this difficult period...
...Don't be a wise ass...
...It's true that we're doing a couple million better this week than last week, but it will take deregulation for us to make some real money...
...O, brother, the Lord showed us our target of opportunism and we took it...
...Sure, from the bloated industrialists...
...We're coping...
...Fair is fair...
...What's to elaborate...
...Nobody thinks smaller than us...
...Oh, brother, let me testify...
...What a neat idea...
...Anyhow, every penny is being sunk right back into our tireless, selfless, heroic search for new energy sources for Masterpiece Theater...
...Sirs, are you disheartened by the energy crisis-crunch...
...You said it...
...We are just trying to find out how the energy crisis-crunch is affecting the ordinary Joe...
...We like solar...
...They go up 10 per cent, we go up 20 per cent...
...How are things going, Mr...
...All men and women of good will and ample means will support my political campaign...
...Are you in favor of heating homes until solar comes along...
...And there I was, abrim with free-loading, nondirectional charisma, and mine eyes turned to the Mideast, and now I dine among the movers and shakers, shaking and moving...
...What of the ordinary American, the lifeblood of the land, its heart and lungs and muscle, its bone and liver and gristle and appendix...
...And here we have Harry Easy payment, representing Your Utterly Reliable Home Fuel Company...
...John: Blessed shall be the bargain makers...
...There I was, the unknown head of a defunct organization, and mine eyes turned to the Mideast, and now I am received by notables in capitals throughout the world, excepting Tel Aviv...
...It's Al Undercoat, proprietor of AJ's Swell Service: Bring Me Your Halt, Lame, Disfigured Vehicles If You Dare...
...America is suffering from a severe case of overdevelopment...
...A good question...
...See them all, dancing into the sunrise from the Mideast, full of prospects, jostling a bit for precedence and for who can sing most fervently, "We Shall Overcome...
...What are you, some freaking snoop...
...Mr...
...You understand, we're into low-lead exclusively...
...If you ask me, the Feds ought to crack down on the farmers...
...They bring in their heaps...
...we keep replacing...
...We're out there, sleeves rolled up, laboring to provide this great country of ours with dependable sources of energy...
...Israel gives a little, we get a little...
...view the present situation as full of promise, a challenge to the ingenuity and enterprise and lobbying that brought us where we are today...
...I'm not one of your gloomand-doomers...
...To get at that question, The New Leader has sought out some of the most ordinary Americans around...
...Who can tell...
...Not so bad...
...we replace a couple parts...
...Have a sesame seed...
...And Reverend Lowery, whither now for you and for SCLC...
...So despite what the editorial writers write, you are not demoralized by the escalation of fuel prices...
...Any displaced workers should be warmed by the Federal Government pending the coming of solar...
...Nobody understands the law...
...Are you concerned over the fact that the good guys in opec can't seem to restrain the bad guys...
...Anyhow, that leaves me the rest of the day for repair work...
...They keep bringing...
...You seem to have the situation in hand...
...How's business...
...No, but we sure fix the owners...
...Here's one now...
...That's nice...
...Mogul will support your campaign...
...Windfall me no windfalls, Buster...
...We should be grateful to the Arabs for giving us this opportunity to achieve the spiritual level of the Third World...
...My books are clean, if you look at the right set...
...Pardon us, Mr...
...The populace is scared stiff...
...Is it absolutely legal...
...And Reverend Jackson, what now for you...
...Far from it...
...Will you accept the Vice Presidential slot on the Reverend Connally's ticket...
...I am ready to make alliances with anyone, from Yasir Arafat to the Grand Mufti, in the cause of Jesse Jackson...
...We at E.W.N.S.P.C...
...We are opposed to oil, to coal, to nuclear, natch...
...whose plants are being shut down...
...In other words, you are against further growth...
...And the workers...
...Sun Struck "Down with big oil...
...Al's the name...
...Everyone likes solar...
...And you finally fix the cars...
...Are you dismayed by the energy shortage...
...Okay...
...Out of taxes...
...Reverend Connally, do you expect that Mr...
Vol. 62 • November 1979 • No. 22
